Canada's History

A ritual so shamelessly vulgar and disturbing, it would turn even the strongest stomachs. It is a Canadian tradition where a person first uses the Stanley Cup to bash a moose(opposite sex of the person in most cases) in the head and knock it down. After the moose is on the ground, the person then proceeds to get naked and cover them self in honey. After getting completely covered in honey, the person then applies honey to the moose's anus and genatels and then licks the honey off the moose's scrotum while sticking one arm up then anus of the moose to stimulate the prostate. This act causes the moose to become excited, at which point the person begins to use the other hand to masturbate the moose. After a short time the moose will ejaculate into the Stanley Cup. Once all of the moose sperm is unloaded into the cup, the person eviscerate the moose and adds the entrails into the Stanley Cup with the sperm. The person then masticates the contents of the Cup and then ingest the concoction. While the concoction is being digested the moose antlers are removed and covered with honey and then inserted into the person anus or any other orifice desired. After a while the person then defecates into the Stanley Cup the moose antlers are used to scoop out what is known as Canada's History. It is said that Sarah Palin performs this on her "hunting trips". It is also rumored that Fox News has adopted this as an initiation to become a news broadcaster.