Urban Dictionary Mugs

happy happy joy joy: From the hilarious tv cartoon Ren & Stimpy, happy happy joy joy is defined as when the world expects you to put on this happy and joyful face when what you really want to do is shriek at the top of your lungs and rip your hair out in anger/frustration/misery. To make everyone happy though, you put on this mask of happy happy joy joy while singing a silly song.

Monkey Branching: Getting your next relationship set up before dumping your current S/O. Generally involves cheating (at least emotionally) on your current partner with the intended future partner. Refers to playing on the monkeybars, where you don't let go of the first bar until you've grabbed on the second.

Pity Pizza: A meal served by employers to employees, as a way to "compensate" them for being underpaid, overworked, and for lack of raises/bonuses and/or meal breaks. Its commonly served during long, hectic working hours when the employer makes it clear that there is not enough staff/time to take a break to eat said pizza, and is usually consumed by other staff who historically under perform and take several long breaks throughout the day that are not warranted. The employees that are dying of hunger and thirst are allowed to smell the Pity Pizza, but rarely are given time to consume it; however they are expected to be grateful for the grand gesture of Pity Pizza

rocker foo: a cholo who also listens to rocker music.

armchair tourist: Someone who goes on holiday with just google street view

Scurryfunge: A hasty tidying of the house between the time you see a neighbor and the time he/she knocks on the door. -John Gould's Maine Lingo: Boiled Owls, Billdads, and Wazzats, 1975

Gravy SEAL: A gravy SEAL is a person either belonging to a militia group or has an unhealthy obsession with the military, guns, and anti-government views, but was never actually in the military due to either being grossly out of shape, mentally unfit, or just too dumb to function. Years of dead end jobs and poor diet have made white, middle aged men very upset. Some express that anger through squeezing into a paintball vest that sits just above their beer gut, and sit in the woods to shoot beer cans and talk about how they'll protect THE GREAT US of A from the evil hippies that love ISIS, hate Jesus, and probably have satanic rituals to sacrifice kids they keep held in a DC pizza shop. Although a term of mockery, Gravy SEALs should be taken seriously, as they are deluded AND have access to copious amounts of arms, and plenty of just as delusional friends to back them up. They may be fat, unhealthy, conspiracy nuts, but they have real guns. Tl;dr - military wannabe LARPers, but with actual guns.

cowpoke: 1. (noun) A lazy cowboy who neglects their duties on a farm or ranch. 2. (noun) A rural person in an urban environment, such as an office, who's mannersisms are notably different, less competitive, and often performed at a slower pace than the urbanites. The term may be used in either an endearing or insulting way. 3. (verb) The act of pressing one's finger against a domesticated bovine for the purpose of testing the quality of meat or just for fun. Usually the index finger is used. 4. (noun)(slang) A male person with a tendency to have sex with only overweight females.

DIwhy: When someone makes a really horrible DIY and shares it on the internet.

swaffling: The act of slapping something with a semi-erect penis. It's derived from the Dutch verb "swaffelen". In 2008 it won the title "Dutch word of the year" in a yearly held competion where the Dutch speaking public can vote online which new word, that originated in that year, they liked the most. It had gotten a lot of media attention because a Dutch student "swaffled" the Taj Mahal on a school trip; and got expelled from his school for that action. Recently Brittish carshow host Jeremy Clarkson mentioned it in a talkshow (BBC Qi), where he gave the definition: "To bang your penis against the Taj Mahal". He also mentioned the word on the fifth episode of the new carshow "The Grand Tour" which was hosted from a tent in Rotterdam (the Netherlands).

calendar wolf: A wolf that has been hand-raised for the sole reason of photographed for calendars. Usually, calendar wolves look much healthier than their wild cousins, and eat not from freshly killed prey, but a bowl with their name on it. Could also refer to a disingenuous person, or a poseur.

Snubgrub: “Snubgrub (noun): A term used to describe the specific feeling or situation in which an individual experiences hunger or the desire to eat, yet simultaneously expresses a strong aversion or reluctance to consume any of the available food items within their immediate environment, particularly in one’s kitchen.

cessy: Drunk, wasted, hammered, shitfaced. Short for cesspool.

somethingburger: A term used when the person speaking or writing is partially true, coherent or fulfilling in some way. May also be used for when it’s mostly or partially false and/or incoherent.

Boonscrolling: The opposite of doomscrolling, where one refreshes or advances through social media feeds looking for relatable, positive, and uplifting content, often with the effect of forging connections where they didn't previously exist.

totty: Totty is British slang for sexy women, also rhymes with hottie

flake watch: When you're closely observing someone who you believe might flake on you, you have them on flake watch.

Taint Tanning: Taint Tanning - the act of going full ass up, crotch open during a tanning session in order to get color/tan on that elusive 1" patch of real estate, and eliminate "butt smile lines". The exact opposite of anal bleaching. Butthole shade matching the surrounding skin tone. Taint - The perineum is the space between the anus and scrotum in the male and between the anus and the vulva in the female. The perineum is the region of the body between the pubic symphysis (pubic arch) and the coccyx (tail bone), including the perineal body and surrounding structures. Tanning - is the process whereby skin color is darkened or tanned. It is most often a result of exposure to ultraviolet (UV) radiation from sunlight or from artificial sources, such as a tanning lamp found in indoor tanning beds. People who deliberately tan their skin by exposure to the sun engage in a passive recreational activity of sun bathing. Some people use chemical products which can produce a tanning effect without exposure to ultraviolet radiation, known as sunless tanning. Post THAT shit !!!!

Gob: "Gob" is a quaint English term of endearment that is often used to express one's deep affection and commitment to their significant other. This term is typically used when one wants to express their desire to nourish and sustain their partner for a lifetime. The term "gob" is derived from the Old English word "gobba," which means "mouthful," and is often associated with the act of feeding someone. When someone says "my gob," they are essentially saying that they want to provide for their loved one and take care of their every need, particularly when it comes to food. It's a term that is deeply rooted in the idea of nurturing and caring for one another, and it's often used to express the depth of one's love and devotion. So if you ever hear someone refer to their partner as "my gob," you can be sure that they are expressing their desire to care for and provide for their loved one for the rest of their days. It's a sweet and sentimental term that truly embodies the meaning of true love and commitment.

Mockstalgia: Any revisit of a thing, be it music, art or otherwise, that tries to evoke nostalgia but rings hollow like it's also mocking said thing. A thinly veiled inside joke

Trash Owl: Someone who constantly ruins their sleep schedule, through no real fault of their own.

scuppie: A yuppie with a social conscience. Someone 'green' who loves the earth as much as money.

mzungu: In Swahili (the lingua franca of East Africa): someone who wanders without purpose / someone constantly on the move. It came to be applied to all white people in East Africa, as most were encountered as traders, visiting colonial officials or tourists. Today, white tourists are often greeted (especially by children) with the cry: "Bye bye mzungu!" For some reason, they rarely say "Hello mzungu!" when they see one coming...

Chocolate Abs: An Asian male who has defined, muscular abdominal muscles that look like the subdivided parts of a chocolate bar.

Tamagotchi effect: The term one uses when a person develops a strong emotional attachment towards a machine or a robot.

iPhone face: The face of an actor who is playing a character in a period piece but has a modern looking face– like they would know what an iPhone is.

blunch: First meal of day eaten at lunchtime. As opposed to brunch which is eaten at 10 or 11, blunch is eaten at 12 or 1.

gold bricked house: A medium to large sized house, that is well kept yet vacant - having been bought by banks, house flippers or speculators for the sole sake of investment, like a gold brick, rather than being used to live in. One of the major reasons for the high prices of housing, and also the shortage of 𝘢𝘧𝘧𝘰𝘳𝘥𝘢𝘣𝘭𝘦 housing.