Tarzan

Tarzan is a hawt 5'1" ape man that usually spends her days swinging on vines and sharing loneliness with its monkey friends. But beware, even if this creature looks like a Darius on the outside, he can become quite vile when least expected. Tarzan is also obsessed with toes and will stick his snoot in glue for some tooting. It is highly advised that the weak of heart and highly unintelligent stay three countries away from her because she may want to educate you on gae boobs if suspecting your ignorance. Tarzan also loves playing telephone with its banana named "Mo" and likes shooting frogs into the ocean with a fake AR-15 she made with Joe's last remains. This was all a bit too much to digest, but I give you my word, if you can share a house with a 5'1.5" McDonald's loving Indian guy(no offence), then you will absolutely fall in love with Tarzan. She's/it's/he's definitely a keeper.