swayzak

It's September 2002, and it's the last week of summer. You're in 8th grade and you're positive you're gonna fail your last middle school year epically. Luckily, Toonami is on after school. But right now, they're doing an event they call "Trapped in Hyperspace". Basically, a virus infects the Absolution and now the thing's gonna kamikaze into planet Earth. You've gotta go online and help TOM jack into the system a la MegaMan Battle Network. And to make matters worse, SARA is offline, and in her place is the virus itself. But holy shit, the virus. His name is Swayzak, and he's a red devil looking hologram with a deep voice (or if you're playing the game, a New Zealand accent). And he's got some figure! I mean, a slim body with a thin waist and legs that're almost sticks? Fuck! Who wouldn't wanna ride with him? By Friday, he's gone. Damn it. Fast forward to April 2004, Toonami's now on Saturday nights, and you've gone onto freshman year. SARA's reviewing a game called Rez. She brings up the plot, which is about a computer virus, and asks if it sounds familiar. All of a sudden, Swayzak appears! Holy hell! Still sexy as ever! But he disappears as quickly as he arrived. Now it's 2017 and you're in your mid to late twenties. One night, you remember Swayzak and ask yourself... why's he still sexy?