strathcona
An elitist organization bent on world domination. See also George Bush. Basically, this group of people lurk around large cities. The founders were failed experiments from Area 51, and as a result, drinking acid and injecting amphetamines is daily practice. Their last known location was Calgary. News in the underground indicates that sights have been set on Edmonton. Entrance into the organization follows rigid procedural documentation, with a double brainwash, splitting of the o-ring and gay ass haircuts. They are characterized by common ideals of shrinking their already pitiful wangs. They are easy to spot, as each one of them has so much crud rammed up their peachholes that nostril dribbling is a common occurence. The leaders are all KKK enthusiasts, and essay writing on the effectiveness of cyanide is a regular routine. When confronted with a strathcona member, remember to do the following... 1) Start singing ANY song of Celine Dion's. This will put the strathcona cult into a trance, as they dig this music. 2) DON'T play rochambeau with them, THEY HAVE NO BALLS. Plenty of lactate though. 3) Challenge them to anything involving sports, as they are so bent on world domination that sports is a foreign term 4) DO NOT BEND OVER. Serious anal rape will ensue, and you will be recruited for endless work in the name of George Dubya. 5) Call Chuck Norris 6) Your best option, carry a kalishkanov or some other sort of machine gun around.
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| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |