Spahr, David
(n.), (adj.) Dr. David "Davey" Spahr IV, born in East Gebumfuck Africa in 1915 while his father served an active tour of duty in the U.S. Marines. Dr. Spahr earned physics doctorates from Harvard, Yale and Princeton when he was only 4 months old by taking online college classes in his mothers womb via a computer and wireless modem he had constructed from a quarter, which his mother had accidentally swallowed when she was a child. He was nominated for his first Nobel prize at the age of seven, but turned it down saying "The world just isn't ready for a cure for cancer". As brilliant as he his, Spahr suffers from several neurological disorders including ADD (Attention Deficit Disorder), evident when he looks out the window at random points during his lectures at his Baldwin High School teaching post. His expectations for his pupils are exceedingly high, alotting only seconds for pop quizes and assigning labs described as such: "Here is a Q-Tip. Compute my favorite flavor of Ice Cream". Spahr feels a strong sense of rejection from his childhood because of the denial from his true love, genericly named "Betty Sue". He constantly looks for closure and often talks of his father at very random and inopportune points during the day, such as this, while he was explaining the physics concept of Torque: "My father once told me (Chuckling), 'Davey! If you don't eat your vegetables, I'll beat you with a rubber hose!'". Of course, this only adds to the confusion of his already befuddled students. His work for the government during the Cold War in constructing a Contractual Knanker Valve Defibulatory Radi-Mechanical Wombat, or Complicated Piece of Shit for short, has David Spahr constantly checking out the window of his class to see if the government sends a hovercraft to whisk him off to his next assignment. His intelligence and humor have earned him big name friends such as Giesler, Karl. Spahr, underneath his tough shell, connects with the students on a deep level, such as when he asked "Are you guys looking at porn back there? Lemme see!". Fun Fact: Spahr solved Eintein's Theory of Relativity when he was an infant.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
I love it
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.
Not only was the product exactly what I expected, I was well informed on the shipping process in a seamless and timely manner!
The T-shirt was a birthday gift for my girlfriend and she absolutely loved it.
Happy that this tee is comfy and fits well. I wish the sentence was on the back too.
My wife absolutely loves her new T-shirt.
This looks like a weird design but it looks cool
This T shirt is the best piece of material to have ever graced this Earth. The fine quality fabrics and in depth definition, which is professionally implanted on the back of the shirt, which makes for some very interesting talking points. Thank you Pablo Parmesan.
Absolutely wonderful product! I bought this shirt for my son and he gagged with joy! Mariah Careystmas everyone!
I love it I bought me and my family some
Glad I had utmost FREEDOM OF SPEECH to express in articulate detail what evv it is the fk i was on a rant about that day. I haven't even received my shirt. I just a few moments ago placed the order. That is how pleased 😄 I am. Fk yeah fk yeah. Very empowering experience. My thoughts turned into type, that made some shi# happen. Having freedom of expression was most definitely...one fk ton of fun. A fk ton can be quantified as exuberance an joy beyond expectation. Fk yeah fk yeah. Awesome>>>
Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...
Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
Copied! |
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.
Share this product
Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |