PETA Tee

An animal rights organization. Contrary to popular belief, PETA does not stand for "People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals," but "Poorly Educated Teen Activists," due to the fact that this organization thrives on the support of gullible preteen emo crybabies who would do anything to help a cause, even if it means ruining a couple lives. Ingrid Newkirk, a tyranical, psychotic bitch, who claimed, in her will, that she would like her dead body to be barbecued and eaten, runs PETA with an iron fist and only steps out of the shadows for a quick publicity shot. Her gopher-like complexion and high-pitched chipmunk-like voice, laced with a British accent, makes her easy to spot in a crowd. Newkirk is also known as the Furher of the new Fourth Reich, and the third anti-christ, but these are speculations at best. Like other radical groups, PETA frowns on free will amongst its members. This is evident on the PETA2 boards, where anything that, and anyone who, does not support PETA's insane mantra is automatically squashed and deleted. This is to prevent the further contamination of PETA's brainwashed "Hitler youth." The organization has supported many outlandish campaigns, such as the Holocaust On Your Plate campaign and the Your Mommy/Daddy Kills Animals pamphlets they hand out to 2nd graders with the intent to make the kids' parents beat the shit out of the activist who handed out the material. However, PETA is the most notorious for their bogus (and rather idiotic) "Kentucky Fried Cruelty" campaign, sparking activists across the country to unite in a BS cause that has been disputed over and over again to people who do nothing but cover their ears and go "LALALALALALALA!!!" Each KFC protest requires three things: 1. Two stick figures and some idiot in a chicken suit. 2. Cardboard signs saying something retarded like "KFC TORCHURZ CHIKIES OMFG!!11!" or "I'M A LOSER WHO CAN'T GET LAID!" 3. The inability to shut the fuck up. Other PETA protests, not specifically about KFC, can be recognized by the loud-mouthed stick-like vegan dumbasses wearing white shirts and shouting obscenities to no one in particular while holding up "IF U EET MEET U R GAY" signs. These "stick-like vegan dumbasses" (known as "Petardus Nobrainus" in scientific circles), can be recognized by their pale skin color, PETA logos on everything they wear, and the inability to keep their mouth shut for even the smallest iota of time. If a PETA groupie attacks, lash out with a quick dose of Laughter, or, if that fails, kick them in the shins until they cry uncle.