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Old Fuckboy

A 40+ year old man who still acts like a young fuckboy. The old fuckboy has an ex-wife (or two) who he refers to as a "pyscho." This may be true. What is also true is that the ex-wife of the old fuckboy is just a woman who spent years dealing with relentless narcissism, emotional manipulation and cheating, and now believes that the old fuckboy is evil and must be exterminated. The old fuck boy, having had decades of practice, is adept at gaslighting. Emotionally, he is a 7 year old. He is incapable of having adult conversations about relationships, yet insists he's the best, most affectionate boyfriend. The old fuckboy having spent his 20s and 30s being a born-again asshole, and despite having gone to college, probably has a bullshit job, the income of which goes to child support. He will therefore constantly ask you for money. The old fuckboy can sniff out when you have had enough of his bullshit and will act like a decent human being for 60 seconds in order to stay in your good graces. Worst of all, not only can the old fuckboy make you come like gangbusters Every Single Time, he is aware of the relationship between sex and oxytocin, and makes sure he fucks you regularly enough so the feelings of love/trust felt during sex don't dissipate, also known as dickmatizing or dickmatization. Do not make the mistake of thinking you can remain in control and use the old fuckboy for sex. He's a wily old fart and will find a way to turn the tables so that he's using you.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
True to size fit
Pre-shrunk (won't shrink in wash)
Tear-away label (no itchy tags)
Every order personally reviewed
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Best This is the best shirt I have ever gotten I love it and I definitly recomend it to any friend named Hailie

JimiTheKiwi Dec 17

*clap* *clap* MEME REVIEW. this is so amazing, alexa play despacito 9001

Bailey Dodd Dec 6

Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...

cynthia Oct 13

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Size Guide

Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!

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Size Chart

Size Length Width
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
Size Length Width
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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