norwegian vampire
A vampiric female that can live up to 300 years. This particular breed sucks the life out of a human not by blood, rather by sperm. Despite their age, their aging process is relative to that of humans (i.e. a 200 year old Norwegian Vampire will look like a 60 year old woman). Norwegian Vampires can only birth females, which is why no one has ever seen a male Norwegian Vampire. When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
I love my NIckIsBum T-Shirt, it is very comfortable.
used it as a cum rag
Great fit and soft material. Gave as gift. Big hit!
Great conversation piece! Plus I can never find anything with my name on it. This was a great find! Will definitely order more!!!!
Got exactly what I wanted.
Exactly what I expected, thanks!
I don't visit Urban Dictionary alit so I only recently saw they offered merch. I immediately started looking up words for potential Christmas gifts. Found the ideal gift for my brother & ordered a shirt. It arrived very quickly and I love it. It's exactly as pictured on the site and being able to customize it with his name makes it perfect. I only hope he loves it as much as I do. Will definitely keep Urban Dictionary in mind when I need to find a great gift.
i love my shirt i made it say sapnap cause yassssssssss
Best This is the best shirt I have ever gotten I love it and I definitly recomend it to any friend named Hailie
So cool to quickly be able to turn a trending phrase into wearable art!
it was really good i put dad with the def of tfu and lol
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Love this shirt. Got it for my brother for Christmas and I can’t wait for his reaction! Ordered size L and it seems maybe a little big? Thank you!
thankyou for all your kind reviews. For everyone complaining about the spelling we was high on the bezamine while writing it so fuck youuuuuu
I love it
I really love it it's me through and through. Thank you. And when I want another shirt made I will be going through you guys.
ThIs is perfect
Great quality and fast shipping and I just dropped my mug.
This T-shirt is a high quality product. It fits perfectly and is very comfortable as well. I'm totally satisfied with the product and recommend it to everyone. Not to sound like a commercial or anything, but I really am impressed! Check it out for yourself. If you're thinking about buying something, go ahead. I'm sure I'll be buying more for a few friends soon. Thanks guys! I love this shirt! For real.
My niece laughed and loves her custom shirt.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |