norwegian vampire
A vampiric female that can live up to 300 years. This particular breed sucks the life out of a human not by blood, rather by sperm. Despite their age, their aging process is relative to that of humans (i.e. a 200 year old Norwegian Vampire will look like a 60 year old woman). Norwegian Vampires can only birth females, which is why no one has ever seen a male Norwegian Vampire. When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
this is the best for coffee and hot coco especially if you make the hot coco in it then pour it on your significant other and do body shots 😋🥱
I can pass away peacefully. This mug is everything I’ve ever needed and more. Fat thank you, Urban Dictionary. <3
I was really excited to receive this mug and when it did come it was perfect quality. My only complaint is that the color I choose was green teal but it came in yellow.
As always, easy to order and not-too-long of a wait for the finished product to arrive. It’s well-printed, and very sturdy. A great gag present for wedding party members.
The mug , color and saying are perfect! PMEO is what I say at work everyday. It has become a favorite saying for my coworkers when things go haywire!
Quality and style are outstanding relative to price point.
Love it! It is my favorite mug. Easy to hold because of its shape and weight. Now my go-to mug.
My wife is truly beautiful and this cup was perfect for her.
Awesome mugs! My GF laughed her ass off, lol!!!
t-this mug changed my life. At first i was a loner but then i bought this mug and i became HIM. I thank this mug everyday for its blessings
Cute, good quality, *****!
Exactly as expected!
My order was delivered very quickly and was high quality. Glad to add it to my mug shelf.
God is still alive. The existence of this mug shows there is still faith that god is dead and is listening to us. God Bless,
Gay Label Adore this. Ordered for my husband, with the second definition on the back, about the gay filmmaker. Makes a nice discussion starter.
Top notch shipping and exactly what I hoped!!
Best mug i have ever purchased! Subscribe
I love it, but of course the definition Ichose for “Unicorn” is too long and gets cut off after “someone is remarkably attractive.” Is there any way to purchase a second mug that has the rest of the quote on it? They’d make a great set as a present. Please let me know. David Tillinghast dtilling480@gmail.com
"Turtle on my name". A tribute to the 50 odd years of misheard lyrics.
My friend couldn’t stop laughing when I gave it to him!
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