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Jake Pearson

A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.

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The Urban Dictionary Tee

Soft, comfortable fabric
Printed on-demand just for you
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It is absolutely perfect and I love wearing it. Thank You.

Kathleen J.Feb 14
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Love the short mine says bih on it

Neal N.Feb 11

this shit stays on during sex

asas a.Feb 8

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Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!

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B - Width

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Size Chart

SizeLengthWidth
XS27"16½"
S28"18"
M29"20"
L30"22"
XL31"24"
2XL32"26"
3XL33"28"
SizeLengthWidth
XS69 cm42 cm
S71 cm46 cm
M74 cm51 cm
L76 cm56 cm
XL79 cm61 cm
2XL81 cm66 cm
3XL84 cm71 cm

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