Jake Pearson
A gentleman of Chinese origin who was a renowned harlequin during the Prussian Civil War. Well known for his ability to eat metal and divide 9 digit numbers by 7 in his head, he often wore lederhosen and fake fur coats. Born in 1763 in the town of Coffewang, Austria, he spent his early years milking cows, goats and even badgers on a rural farm, joining the circus in 1770 as a juggler. Little is known of the next few years of his life, although by 1784 he was employed as a courthand of King Bendilegs of Latvia. However, due to an unfortunate situation he found himself him with the King's eldest Son (rumour has it they were caught copulating in the Royal Chambers) he was sentenced to be hung as a practicing homosexual (which in that era was a crime punishable by death). The King's son was exiled and travelled to Spain where he took up employment as a minister, but Jake was spared of his fate due to his previous loyalty and ability to amuse the King. He worked from that day on a court jester (harlequin) until his untimely death in 1806 after consuming a tainted slab of marzipan, poisoned by those opposed to the King's proposal to impose a land tax to wealthy landowners that was nearly 3% above the base rate in that region.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Customer Reviews
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡
Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition
BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!
Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day
Best This is the best shirt I have ever gotten I love it and I definitly recomend it to any friend named Hailie
*clap* *clap* MEME REVIEW. this is so amazing, alexa play despacito 9001
Proofread much? She might seem "quite"? Please fix the spelling to "quiet". Can't believe I was considering this purchase...
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Your Order Journey
Today - Order Placed
Your order joins today's production batch by 11PM Pacific Time
Next Day - Quality Check
We review your order and prepare it for production
Production
Your product is created on-demand at the nearest facility, reducing waste and shipping time
Shipping
Your package begins its journey to you
Delivered!
Your custom product arrives at your doorstep
Times may vary based on your location and production facility
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.
Share this product
Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
Size | Length | Width |
---|---|---|
XS | 27" | 16½" |
S | 28" | 18" |
M | 29" | 20" |
L | 30" | 22" |
XL | 31" | 24" |
2XL | 32" | 26" |
3XL | 33" | 28" |
Size | Length | Width |
---|---|---|
XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |