Gnat
AKA Friut Fly AKA Nature's Asshole At birth, gnats are given three objectives in life that they feverishly carry out with as much enthusiasm as a swinger at a wife swap. First, they must at all costs have an innate desire to locate the nostrils of homosapiens and fly straight in to them no matter how visiously they are swatted at. Second, baring deflection from nostril penetration, they are given an intense sexual desire to mate with the human uvula. Typically the man or woman being attacked are so busy shouting obsenities at the gnat so as to allow easy access in to the mouth and straight to the back of the throat. Third, they are drawn to the sweet, sweet odor of feces. This causes a high concentration of the little assholes where ever there is a place mired in shit, such as open sewage lines, and your work place. Presently there is no way to destroy gnats permantly, however a good clapping of the hands have brought many a gnat to their compressed demise. In 1915 a Dutch farmer, after becoming violently enraged from swallowing one to many gnats over a humid summer, devised a gnat trap which are still in use to day. Striking a blow for human kind everywhere these traps are comprised of sucrose water made to smell like the uvula which draw gnats in and drown them in a watery tomb. This of course is only a temporary measure as they tend to re-appear a week later after one of your asshole co-workers leaves a banana to brown on his desk thus starting the cycle over again.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Good stuff! Although, I do have a sneaking suspicion that this is cursed. You see, whenever i dawn this top-teir, soft, stylish shirt - I proceed to pass out within 46 seconds. The mere act of making contact with the material insues the process of this countdown starting. If I do not quit contact, i will lose conciousness the exact moment the countown hits 0. And when I regain clarity, I find myself in a bathtub - never mine, but a bathtub nevertheless. In the bathtub, there is always various colours of hairdye. I then have to go back home, shirt stained with dye. Very fashionable though! 10/10
Smooth transaction and nice product, shipping was quick!
good very good worth money!
5 out of 5 I love when people start reading the definition. It's halourious
10/10 yes much good 10/10 would buy again
Fit is true to size, good quality material. Graphics applied well (not off-center or angled as with some products). Quick shipment.
gooderesting the gooderesting thing ever made
Got it for a friend! He loved it
Size was accurate, and printed text was as displayed online. Doesn't hurt that the material is pretty soft either.
mine says "ass" on it lol
Good Decent, comfortable by all means
My wife bought this for me, my only thing about the shirt, is the big Vernon on the front. I think I would prefer it situated and smaller type as if overva pocket. Other than that I love it. Seems to be of good quality and easy wearability, but I have only tried it on, so am uncertain. Thank you for making my day
shirt made me cum
Dick Aww man I love this shirt for eating
people shat on my shirt that said shart and im mad they took a shit on it instead of a shart
Necero's shirt i can use this in almost every phrase. This shirt allows me to do some great stuff with my kids and grandkids! i'd love for anyone who says same to get this shirt!
Bad! Why is this T-shirt named shitty fucking??What a bad name it is!Recommend?Never!😡
The shirts are amazing! I will be ordering again. And recommend them to others 🙂
My UD shirts are my favorites. They fit well, last long, and are unique. I always have people reading my back.
Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |