crushin' softies
Is a term of art used to describe a methodology employed by the US Military in an effort to siphon out homosexuals from service in response to the apparent lack of success of federal statute 10 U.S.C. § 654, or more commonly referred to as the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. If a male serving in any military branch is suspected of engaging in homosexual activity, they will be called before there superior officer and asked to crush softies with one of there peers. To "crush" the suspected gay will pull out his penis and press it against the penis of his crushing partner. The idea is that the male's penis will remain flaccid and non-erect when pressed against the other male's wiener if he straight, thus proving his true sexuality. However if his penis becomes erect (a boner), the male has failed the test, and undoubtedly likes to sex other males in the fanny, thus precluding him from further military service. (Other words/phrases synonymous with the test include: "the crush game", "bumpin' soft-dick", "hamin' sandies" and "Captain Crunchin"). A similar test has been used to target homosexual females, known as "crushin' tits", however results are generally understood as unreliable due to varying room temperatures and the fact that no one cares if hoes wanna scissor each other.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Amazing This shirt is SOOOOO comfortable and I love the definition
BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME THIS IS THE BEST SHIRT OF ALL TIME. LITERAL FUCKING HELL OF A PLACE HAS BECOME A PART OF MY EVERDAY VOCABULARY AND I RECOMMEND IT FOR ANYONE WHO IS FORCED TO SIT IN A PLACE THEY HATE FOR AN HOUR EVERDAY. GO BUY THE MUG, SHIRT, OR SWEATSHIRT NOW!
Awesome tshirt This tshirt is awesome but my name isn't actually Jayson but i bought it for his b-day
good is it very. i like shirt much,,,,, it contabfortable like it i do.
The Fucklix t shirt is perfect but I am still waiting for the xlarge I ordered. These are gifts and will be just what is needed. Hope I receive the xlarge soon then it's time to give them to the people I ordered them for. So glad I saw them . Thanks.
My wife loves it. Nice quality and so funny for the wearer. Thank you!
The shirt fit amazing, package was shipped rather fast! Thank you so much..
It is absolutely perfect and I love wearing it. Thank You.
Love the short mine says bih on it
this shit stays on during sex
Love it! Buyed it for my sister but I had to make it say her favorite anime 💀✨
LOVR THIS SHIRT OML SO CUTEEEEE😍😍😍
mine had gay on it. Instant sex.
I love my NIckIsBum T-Shirt, it is very comfortable.
used it as a cum rag
Great fit and soft material. Gave as gift. Big hit!
Great conversation piece! Plus I can never find anything with my name on it. This was a great find! Will definitely order more!!!!
Got exactly what I wanted.
Exactly what I expected, thanks!
I don't visit Urban Dictionary alit so I only recently saw they offered merch. I immediately started looking up words for potential Christmas gifts. Found the ideal gift for my brother & ordered a shirt. It arrived very quickly and I love it. It's exactly as pictured on the site and being able to customize it with his name makes it perfect. I only hope he loves it as much as I do. Will definitely keep Urban Dictionary in mind when I need to find a great gift.
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Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
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B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |