crushin' softies
Is a term of art used to describe a methodology employed by the US Military in an effort to siphon out homosexuals from service in response to the apparent lack of success of federal statute 10 U.S.C. § 654, or more commonly referred to as the "Don't ask, Don't tell" policy. If a male serving in any military branch is suspected of engaging in homosexual activity, they will be called before there superior officer and asked to crush softies with one of there peers. To "crush" the suspected gay will pull out his penis and press it against the penis of his crushing partner. The idea is that the male's penis will remain flaccid and non-erect when pressed against the other male's wiener if he straight, thus proving his true sexuality. However if his penis becomes erect (a boner), the male has failed the test, and undoubtedly likes to sex other males in the fanny, thus precluding him from further military service. (Other words/phrases synonymous with the test include: "the crush game", "bumpin' soft-dick", "hamin' sandies" and "Captain Crunchin"). A similar test has been used to target homosexual females, known as "crushin' tits", however results are generally understood as unreliable due to varying room temperatures and the fact that no one cares if hoes wanna scissor each other.
The Urban Dictionary Tee
Damonism T-shirt :+) I found this by accident while surfing through your site. I love this shirt. I bought one and wear it when I feel frisky.
Another hit!
Great shirt, great service. A big thumbs up👍🏻
I always get so many compliments when I wear this (my favorite) shirt. I have been able to give out my phone number to lots of nice old men and my parents think it's great that I have so many nice mentors grooming me into a nice young boy who is willing to "follow the rules ".
Very comfortable and love the tyoeface
Very nice t-shirt. Fits perfect.
FUCK you urban dictionary.
My brother loved the shirt and the dogs name is cum stain
The small shirts for men looks like an extra small. Other than that I love the shirt.
AMAZING I GOT THE HILAARIOUS SHIRT AND LOVE IT MORE THAN ANYTHING!
I absolutely loveeeeeeee my shirt ! Fast shipping too !
hehe mine said skibidi
Feels great love the shitt
Great shirt. Great service. Shopify doesn’t track the shipment accurately though. However, when I reached out to Urban Dictionary customer service, they were able to help me.
Wore it to school.
Love this shirt so much
I love this t-shirt that says morbussy. It allows me to show off both my love for Morbius and the fact that I get no Morbussy.
This shirt feels great, perfect fit too.
Great looking t-shirt. Good quality. Printing looks good.
Cool I didn’t order anything I just have a lot of free time and not a lot of hobbies
Review Details
Pro Customization
Create unique products with your own words and definitions
Live Preview
Personalize Your Design
Debug: Product Metadata
| Key | Value (click to copy) |
|---|---|
Copied! |
Return Policy
Made Just For You
Each product is custom-printed with your unique text, making it truly one-of-a-kind.
Defect-Free Guarantee
If your product arrives with printing defects, damage, or quality issues, we'll send you a free replacement.
Custom Orders
Due to the personalized nature of your order, we don't accept returns for change of mind or sizing issues.
Questions about your order? Contact our support team for assistance.
Share this product
Size Guide
Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your t-shirts at home and compare!
A - Length
Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem
B - Width
Measure across the chest from armpit to armpit
Size Chart
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 27" | 16½" |
| S | 28" | 18" |
| M | 29" | 20" |
| L | 30" | 22" |
| XL | 31" | 24" |
| 2XL | 32" | 26" |
| 3XL | 33" | 28" |
| Size | Length | Width |
|---|---|---|
| XS | 69 cm | 42 cm |
| S | 71 cm | 46 cm |
| M | 74 cm | 51 cm |
| L | 76 cm | 56 cm |
| XL | 79 cm | 61 cm |
| 2XL | 81 cm | 66 cm |
| 3XL | 84 cm | 71 cm |