Best Friend Tee

The true best friend will randomly barge into your apartment without knocking or bothering to ask why you didn't lock the door, and spazz about how unfair their life is to the only person who will listen, or care: You. A best friend never brings their own food when they come to visit. For one thing, they will not call it 'visiting', but 'breaking and entering'. They will also eat you out of house and home and then look at you like it's your fault the refrigerator is empty, because they know you hate it when they do that. You always tell your best friends your most important dreams and secrets, because you know that when they fall off their chairs and start rolling on the floor laughing at you and calling you ten different kinds of an idiot, it's their bizarre way of showing that they care. You're used to them swearing at you because you forgot to do the homework that THEY needed to copy, because it happens almost every day. They are the kind of person who will point and laugh when you walk into a door, and never let you forget your stupidity for the rest of the day. And they never leave you alone. EVER. Not even at 12:00 a.m. apparently, because you can still hear them throwing rocks at your window while you're trying to sleep. And when you finally end up in jail, your best friend will be in there with you, giving you a play-by-play of how badly you fucked this one up. A best friend is someone who annoys you and criticizes you; someone who bitches and whines and blames you for everything. They are the person who will stay with you forever, even if you don't want them to, and never let you be lonely. They dump their anger and their sadness and their frustration on you, and only you, because you're the only one who can take it without breaking. They are the shoulder you can always cry on when there's no place to go to dry your tears. They make you laugh, cry, love, hurt, scream, throw things, and be human. And the true best friend knows all this, and it is for exactly that reason why they will forever remain your best friend, wether you like it or not.