Big Beautiful Woman

Basically a "big, beautiful woman" is a fat chick with a pretty face. She is the diametric opposite of a butterface. The ongoing debate rages as to whether this term is an oxymoron. For the most part it IS (but I have never been a fan of flab). One has to concede, however, that for a woman to be considered physically "beautiful", she MUST possess a pretty face. (So there is potential for a "big, beautiful woman" to trim down and become truly beautiful). Admittedly, definitions of beauty can be somewhat subjective. Realistically speaking though, if a woman is too overweight to wear a two-piece bathing suit in public, then she does not approach an accurate description of beautiful. (Curves are nice, cellulite isn't). Modern day beauty pageants like "Miss USA" and the "Miss Hawaiian Tropic International" are very illustrative of this point. The contestants possess varying physical attributes but, regardless of height, breast cup size, butt size, hair length, hair color and eye color, they have one thing in common: flat stomachs. Usually known by the acronym BBW, a "big, beautiful woman" posts photographs of herself on social networking sites that are purposely shot so as to disguise her obesity. Classic examples usually include a combination of: - close-up head or face shots - extremely high or overhead camera angles - low-key lighting and possibly actual image manipulation. Flashing cleavage or employing hairnosis and/or boobnosis are often used as secondary deceptions. Since most men have booblevision to begin with, they rarely pause to consider that the BBW in question could shrink one to three WHOLE bra cup sizes if they ever lost the excess flab. Obviously going from a D cup to an A cup would render the formerly outstanding bust line moot. (In this same vein, a woman writer once quipped, "When I'm a size six, I can get into my favorite jeans. When I'm a size fourteen, I finally have the bust line that I always wanted in high school.") 'Nuff said? Big, beautiful women come in two basic groups: those who want to lose weight, and those who won't do what is necessary to lose weight (choosing instead to refer to themselves by outrageous euphemisms such as: "fluffy", "juicy", "thick", "big boned", "pleasingly plump", or "more to love." Star Jones is their poster child). To the first group, I would suggest having your thyroid gland checked out by a medical doctor who knows something about nutrition and does not dismiss naturopathic remedies. Eat enough medium to low calorie foods to feel full, and have a few colonics to insure proper nutrient absorption. If you have been genetically hosed by your family's DNA, you're going to have to put extra effort into whatever you do. Surgery may be an option, but there is NO substitute for regular exercise. To the second group I ask, who do you think you are fooling? As Jeff Foxworthy observed about large women wearing Spandex, "If your bottom looks like two raccoons wrestling around in a fifty pound sack of feed, you are NOT 'juicy'!"