Macedonian

A people composed of farmers and goat-herders who's favourite pass-times are spending all day in a half-drunk haze eating imported olives and feta cheese, drinking moonshine, arguing pointlessly and frequently, eating kashkeval, bread, peppers, pickled food, tomatoes and sausages, informing others on the history and status of their families and ancestors, and infrequently getting conquered by technologically superior nations (which is everyone outside Albania, and even then...) to the point of making the Scots look like champions. According to legend, the name is derived from the root words "Mah-ke" (suffering) and "dom" (home) giving the name of this imaginary nation as "homeland of suffering". Many modern Macedonians are very similar to modern Bulgarians, the language is almost identical, although they have had, for the most part, a different political history. The world is generally composed of five people - 1. People who know they are Macedonian because they speak Macedonian, have distinct Macedonian customs and cultural idioms and attitudes, and come from Macedonian villages that have had a similar heritage AT LEAST since before England even was 2. People of Macedonian background who have adopted the Greek language and have adopted Greek customs, idioms and attitudes for one of two reasons (it's more chic for them to be Greek, or because it is simply easier for them socially) 3. Greeks who have picked up the imaginary arguments extolled by the Greek government and hold onto them collectively to the point of totally ignoring the blatantly obvious 4. The rest of the world, which really doesn't give a fuck and wants both sides to shut the fuck up ASAP, and doesn't really understand what both sides have to say. 5. People who think Kurds are Iranian and Turkish at the same time, that Scots are really English, that the Irish are basically English, that Native Americans should forget about their culture, and generally can't perceive political propaganda when they see it (or simply refuse to do so). Very similar to person #3.