American Empire Mug

A fragment from a future encyclopedia article …The American Empire appeared to be the sole major power on earth between 1990 and 2000, after the disintegration of the Soviet Empire in 1990. However by that time, the Empire had been in decline for some time – Imperial power probably peaked during the brief reign of Emperor Kennedy the Young in 1961-63. Thereafter, the power of the Empire was sapped by a ruinous proxy war against the Soviets in Vietnam which led to extensive dissent within America over the morality and purpose of the war. The symbolic power of the Empire peaked in 1969 when American astronauts successfully traveled to the Moon, landed, and returned safely. Five more visits to the moon were made, but the expeditions to the Moon and plans for even bolder exploration of the Solar System were ultimately abandoned because of the cost of the war in Vietnam. Within one generation, the accomplishments of the Moon landings seemed so incredible that an increasing number of Americans refused to believe that they had ever happened. The most serious decline of the American empire began when George W. Bush was appointed Emperor Bush II under suspicious circumstances in 2001, after a contentious succession from Emperor Clinton I. Subsequently, the American Empire was assaulted by eastern barbarians. Ironically, the eastern barbarians gained some of their power and stature from support they had obtained from the American Empire in another proxy war against the Soviet Empire in Afghanistan twenty years before. The barbarian’s assault was a great shock to the Empire’s citizens, and the Empire reacted by getting into wars in Afghanistan and Iraq. These wars sapped the empires strength without seriously affecting the barbarians. Another effect of these wars was to drive up the cost of petroleum, which meant an end to the cheap fuel which had allowed imperial citizens to drive massive vehicles called SUVs without worrying about the consequences. Also, these wars increased international uncertainty, driving up the cost of the raw materials that the Empire needed to survive. To pay for the ongoing wars, the Empire was forced to borrow enormous amounts of money, with much of the debt being held by the resurgent Chinese and Indian Empires. The American Empire also inadvertently weakened itself by ceasing to manufacture most items, preferring to contract out this work to China. This tended to destroy the prosperity of many American citizens (except for a few rich oligarchs called CEOs) even as it strengthened the empire’s rivals. The accounts of the Empire’s collapse are fragmentary. It is known that an evil cult known as Wal-Mart…