femme

Before I say anything I would like to say that definitions like this one, can be a very sensitive matter for some people. I am a queer woman myself, and this is what being a femme means to me. I hope that my point can come across well. Mostly used to describe lesbians, a femme can be any person who identifies as a woman and likes girls. A femme embraces femininity. This could be in the way she presents herself, but it also means being a confident and independent woman. It has more meaning to it than appearances. Loving the color pink isn’t just a “girly” thing. Those stereotypes were made to make women seem soft, and because women don’t want to commit to that idea, they become hateful towards themselves, forcing themselves to reject the idea of being a confident woman, and have internal misogyny. Being femme is being assertive, but not conforming to those ideas. Also spelled fem, the stereotype of typically feminine wlw, are that in sexual relations they are typically submissive, “the bottom”, or “a pillow princess”. This is not true, an when you think about it, it is mysoginistic in the way that people see traditional feminine things as delicate and in a relationship, weak, as bottoms tend to be portrayed as. (being submissive does not mean you are weak, it is merely another harmful idea) Being femme doesn’t mean that you have to date a masculine woman or a butch either, most happy wlw couples do not conform to these ideas nor to the idea of one dominant and one submissive.