Leykis 101 Mug

Leykis 101 students know what dating is all about. Dating equals porking. We do not go on dates to give a woman an I.Q. test, show you new restaurants, or show you fine wines. We go out with you in order to get laid. When we do that, we don't hear a word you say. Understand that on a first date, we do not hear a word. All that stuff you're telling us about: your job, where you grew up, your mom and dad, your siblings, your best friend, your girlfriends, what movies you seen recently, what tv shows you like to watch...blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah. That is just backround noise while we try figure out how to get enough alcohol in your gut so you'll find us attractive and take your clothes off. That whole time we are wondering what you look like naked, and that's really all we care about. Hate to disappoint you ladies, but we do not take you out on a date to put you on final jeopardy to see how smart you are. We hope you're stupid. We really do not care about how intelligent you are. We wanna see you naked. That's it, bottom line, end of story Leykis 101 students are also known as jerks or assholes, and we're proud of it. People think they are insulting us by telling us that we're jerks or assholes. You call us a jerk, we wear it like a badge. You bet we're jerks. We'll call you, and we won't call you for three weeks, we'll put you on ice. Then when we call you back, you'll feel lucky we finally called you back. You won't see us calling you back at 6:30 the next morning after a date saying "How are you sweetheart, did you have a good time last night?" Forget it. Leykis 101 students do not compliment the women we are with, we do not tell them they are beautiful, we do not tell them they are dressed nicely, we do not compliment their taste in decorating, that's what gay friends are for. We don't do that. The more we compliment women, the less likely it is their gonna put out. If you tell a woman "God! You're hot." or "God! You're attractive." All she'll say to herself is "If I am this hot, I could do much better than him." No compliments. Leykis 101 students don't spend more than $40 on a date... $0 is optimum. We have various ways of avoiding buying dinner for you. A good one is to call a woman up and ask her "What time are you having dinner tonight?" and she'll just blindly answer "Oh about 7:30, 8:00."..."Great. You should be done about 9:30. Why don't we hook up for a drink around 10:00." And what she doesn't realize of course is you just ace'd her out of dinner. If you had asked her that question the wrong way she might have said "Well, I tell you what, I don't have any plans, what about you and me?"..."No, no. You eat dinner, we'll meet later." Leykis 101 students do not date single mothers. She already made at least one mistake and we don't want to be paying for the next one. We don't do it. Single mothers also have very hard times getting babysitters and you will never be the focus of her attention, ever. If we date strippers, we don't fall in love with them and we never ever ever ever ever give them money. Ever, ever, ever. Leykis 101 students always use condoms because we believe in control in the phrase birth control. We have control when we keep you from getting our sperm. It's that simple. Women lie about birth control. They say they can't get pregnant, say they are on the pill, say don't worry about it, or whatever. If what they want is to get in your wallet, they will lie and you will have no way of knowing untill you end up paying for 18 years. A trick that some students have put into practice is after having sex, go to the bathroom and put some tabasco inside the condom before you throw it away. If the chick does decide to empty the contents of the condom inside her in order to get herself pregnant, she will be in for a suprise when her vagina gets a severe burning sensation, which will immediately alert you to her motives. Leykis 101 students do not tolerate cell phone calls in the middle of a date. If we are paying for your meal, we are in essence paying for your exclusivity, we don't want you talking to other people while we are buying you dinner. We are paying for your attention. If a chick answers the telephone in the middle of dinner, it means one of two things: her babysitter, in which case, you shouldn't be with her anyway; or it's the guy she's gonna hook up with later, Pointdexter, after she gets you to pay the bill for this meal. That also includes when a woman answers the phone in the middle of dinner and says "Hi, I'm with a 'friend' right now, can I call you back." Any time a woman calls somebody like you a "friend" That means she is talking to another guy. Frequently, this is followed 5 minutes later by "I'm gonna go to the ladies room and freshen up, is that okay?" and she takes her purse, with the cellphone in it, in the ladies room and calls that guy back. That's the guy whose gettin some tonight, not you. What we recommend is that when her cell phone goes off in the middle of a meal, and she picks it up and talks to sombody, you stand up, excuse yourself from the table, go to the valet, get in your car, and go. Let her pay for the meal and let the next guy that's gonna be doin her later, let him come and pick her up...at the restauranut...where she just paid for dinner. Don't you pay. Your goal, when you take a woman out boozing, is to get her directly from the bar to the bed, where you're gonna do the dirty deed. If she tries to philabuster by saying "I know this great dance club." or "I know this club that's open late." or "I'm hungry. Can we just go to Denny's and get some breakfast?" Wherever it is she's saying she wants to go, you tell her you'll drop her off. You have to get up early in the morning. If that chick puts a grand slam breakfast in her gut, she's not gonna kiss you with bacon mouth boy. She's not doin it. She's using the breakfast element to philabuster and then later on she's gonna say "Oh my God! It's 4:30! I gotta be at work in the morning!" and then she's gonna blow you off. Don't let her do that. After you have been boozing, if she tries to tell you that she wants to go eat, she's telling you that she doesn't want to have sex, with you. Leykis 101 students know that we do not wanna be friends with women. We tell women that we are their friends in order to hopefully get in there and nail them, ultimatley. That's the only reason we do it. Unless they're gay. Those men that are gay, well maybe they do want to be friends with these chicks, and we don't trust all of them. Some of them are on the fence. But straight men definitly do not want to be friends with women. We don't. We want to have sex. Will we also go to a ballgame with you? Oh sure, but we want sex. If we are talking to you and hanging out with you without having sex, it is usually because we are waiting for you to have a fight with your boyfriend, that night will come when he acts like a jerk, or he forgets your birthday, doesn't bring you flowers. There will be some night where you have a stupid argument and we are gonna be there waitning over you like vultures. No two ways about it. Leykis 101 students know that there are various ways to make women desire us more. Pretending to have money. Not answering your phone on the weekend. Got an answeing machine? Let the machine take them. Take calls from your buddies on the weekends. Chicks that will not definitely put out, there are nights for them. They are called Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. Those are the nights when you go out with chicks you are prospecting. The weekends are reserved for real fun, either getting laid or going out with your friends. That's it. None of this first date stuff on a Saturday night. Do not waste your Saturday night on some chick that you know is not gonna pay off. It's that simple.