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USS Jimmy Carter

The USS Jimmy Carter is a CNO Special Projects Boat. Originally destined to be the third in the vaunted Seawolf Class Nuclear Attack Submarine, she ended up being the last in the class, cut in half, extended by 100 feet, and sent to sea. A problematic, overengineered design to begin with, the Navy in their infinate wisdom, decided to throw 100 feet of even more overengineered crap in the middle and call it good. The Navy has been paying for that mistake (literally) ever since. If the logistical problems of maintaining a 3 boat class weren't bad enough, compound that with a laundry list of must-have parts that aren't made any more, add a touch of shipyard (EB) "craftsmanship", and sprinkle in a generous amount of DFS'. The phrase "SAT for sea" is commonly used, usually to describe the piece of duct tape being used to hold in that valve that penetrates the hull, half-assed welded in place by a stoned metalworker who came in drunk with half a joint in his mouth. If that wasn't bad enough, listen to the crew: There have been people stuck onboard for 5+ years with no end in sight. In that time, some of them have never gone to a school. Most of them have had multiple award nominations shot down by the upper echelon. Almost all of those going up for terminal leave have had it denied, or told it was a "set-in-stone" date, only to have it cancelled after tuition and a house has been paid for back home. Some have been in their rotation window up to 3 times, but keep getting extended because it's difficult to find someone who hasn't heard of this floating shitheap. Most boats lose 1-3 guys a year due to clearance, medical, legal, or psychological issues. The goodship JC has lost 42 since 2003 massively due to psychological issues. And nothing has been done, despite the many protests of the crew. Good men have been lost to this ongoing problem, and the loss rate is increasing. It's not limited to the blueshirts, either. Chiefs and officers have fallen before the incredible stresses needlessly placed on those aboard. Re-enlistment has been hovering just above 0% since the keel first touched water. Nobody wonders why. Crew morale is so bad, those onboard look forward to injury so they can get some rest. Crew morale is so bad that the COB had to make a ships picnic mandatory just to get some people to show up. Many arrived in the parking lot, waved, then turned around and left. A senior chief with 17 years in refuses to re-enlist and finish his 3 years because it's not worth extending onboard another 6 months. All in all, the "leading indicators" show that this boat is a crap-heap with a list of receipts 10 years long. The motto is "Semper Optima" meaning "Always the Best", but should be "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here".

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

I mollywopped someone with it and it didn’t break. Nice

Dave F.Dec 10
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Review by Arturo I.

Product was as advertised and arrived pretty quickly too! The person loved their gift!

Arturo I.Dec 9
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The "Pink Flamingo" colour with white text on a pink background is the best selection for this fine phrase mug. May I suggest you also correct the misspelling of "delightfully" in the default option for a timeless gift.

Sugar T.Dec 9

As always, a great gift.

Etan N.Dec 9
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It looks great. I couldn't have been happier

CustomerDec 6
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It’s a mug I would never find in a souvenir shop. I’m a legend in my own home.

Vernon S.Dec 6
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I am very please with the mug. Thank you!

Kelley C.Dec 5
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ABSOLUTELY LOVED IT BUY IT RN

Charlene K.Dec 5

Was very happy with the customer service team when I had a question. They responded to my email quickly. The mug looks really cool, makes me laugh every time I use it and high quality. I’m in love with it. Thanks!

Abdallah S.Dec 5
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Haylee My name is haylee sullivan and the mug is describes everything about me and i would rate it at a 5 100% it is awesome

haylee sullivanDec 4
Review by Kori G.

I’m right handed and would’ve liked it better if the handle was on right side with name facing forward instead of having verbiage facing front

Kori G.Dec 4
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girlfriend loved it :) - Ian's Girlfriend

Ian A.Dec 4
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the urge to buy it and write cum on it

Jotaro j.Dec 4

Purchased this mug as a Christmas gift. Can’t wait to see the reaction!

Donna A.Dec 4
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This is to test if the Urban Dictionary store rating system is working and not showing fake 5 star reviews.

Random P.Dec 4

These are hilarious! Great gifts. Cost seems a bit high but i couldn’t resist.

Ellen S.Dec 3
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Review by Ariana N.

It’s a great way to store my pencils.

Ariana N.Dec 3
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I used this instead of condoms It didn’t work and now my nephew is my son

Michael R.Dec 2

Ordering was very easy and the delivery to a different address then the billing address was done effortlessly with complete correct order. Was delivered before estimated date which was very exciting. Good job well done by all.

Donna B.Dec 2
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Funny stuff! I wish the mugs cost a bit less, I'd buy more. There's an almost unlimited supply of clever slang.

Jay C.Dec 2
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