USS Jimmy Carter Mug
The USS Jimmy Carter is a CNO Special Projects Boat. Originally destined to be the third in the vaunted Seawolf Class Nuclear Attack Submarine, she ended up being the last in the class, cut in half, extended by 100 feet, and sent to sea. A problematic, overengineered design to begin with, the Navy in their infinate wisdom, decided to throw 100 feet of even more overengineered crap in the middle and call it good. The Navy has been paying for that mistake (literally) ever since. If the logistical problems of maintaining a 3 boat class weren't bad enough, compound that with a laundry list of must-have parts that aren't made any more, add a touch of shipyard (EB) "craftsmanship", and sprinkle in a generous amount of DFS'. The phrase "SAT for sea" is commonly used, usually to describe the piece of duct tape being used to hold in that valve that penetrates the hull, half-assed welded in place by a stoned metalworker who came in drunk with half a joint in his mouth. If that wasn't bad enough, listen to the crew: There have been people stuck onboard for 5+ years with no end in sight. In that time, some of them have never gone to a school. Most of them have had multiple award nominations shot down by the upper echelon. Almost all of those going up for terminal leave have had it denied, or told it was a "set-in-stone" date, only to have it cancelled after tuition and a house has been paid for back home. Some have been in their rotation window up to 3 times, but keep getting extended because it's difficult to find someone who hasn't heard of this floating shitheap. Most boats lose 1-3 guys a year due to clearance, medical, legal, or psychological issues. The goodship JC has lost 42 since 2003 massively due to psychological issues. And nothing has been done, despite the many protests of the crew. Good men have been lost to this ongoing problem, and the loss rate is increasing. It's not limited to the blueshirts, either. Chiefs and officers have fallen before the incredible stresses needlessly placed on those aboard. Re-enlistment has been hovering just above 0% since the keel first touched water. Nobody wonders why. Crew morale is so bad, those onboard look forward to injury so they can get some rest. Crew morale is so bad that the COB had to make a ships picnic mandatory just to get some people to show up. Many arrived in the parking lot, waved, then turned around and left. A senior chief with 17 years in refuses to re-enlist and finish his 3 years because it's not worth extending onboard another 6 months. All in all, the "leading indicators" show that this boat is a crap-heap with a list of receipts 10 years long. The motto is "Semper Optima" meaning "Always the Best", but should be "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here".
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
I bought a Prone mug and i love it its so good imma prone to the bathroom now brb
This mug gives my life purpose. It's what I've always said. Patience is a virtue and hard work never betrays. Ever since I was born I've been struck with one misfortune after another, but today it all paid off. I got my own mug, and I use it anywhere and whenever I can! Both of my legs are shattered because to my wife threw me in the middle of traffic and my windpipe is messed up due to me screaming all the way from the crash site to the hospital thanks to the unbearable pain I was feeling. Although even with all that's happened this is still the best day of my life. I suppose the only problem I have is that whenever I happen to look at my cup I get a little too happy. That causes problems because my life support can't handle my exhilaration, haha! I'm just kidding; that was just a little lighthearted joke of mine. I actually cannot afford life support because I spent all of my life savings on this fine piece of pottery. Not to worry though! I can get through the pain with my will and drugs - I mean medication. P.S. There are definitely no ghosts in the mugs. Just wanted to point that out in case someone was worried about that.
I bought two mugs as gifts for coworkers and they were very pleased. The print was clear and concise. Hopefully they last a long time.
Ordered a gift for a friend I hope he likes it :)
Mug was well-packed when received. Shipping was timely. The mug was as advertised. Very nice.
BEST THING EVER. CUZ YK WHAT!!?!? IT. IS. A. MUG. WITH MY NAME. AND. A COOL DESCRIPTION. ON. IT. I LOVE IT.
Just what I expected! Thank you!
I bought this friggin thing thinking my whole life would change. Guess what? It still sucks! If this friggin thing can't change my life then I don't want it!
This is a great gift to give after our Urban Dictionary inclusion
It's perfect!! Thank you!
My Name is Walter Hardwell White, My Mug was sent to 308 Negra Aroyal Lane, AQ, New Mexico and arrived on-time and I am very satisfied. My "Glock Dookie" mug is great for my lab work, and my friend Pinkman loves it!
I love this cup! My now ex-husband loves his opioids more than life itself. He would constantly pass out dead to the world the only thing I would here was his death moans. I had to call an aid car for him so many time that I can't remember plus 2 or 3 times the doctors told me that if it wasn't for me, he would have died. Her abandoned me after I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer because I was of no use to him any longer. I have no clue now who must be the one that's obligated to save his life any longer. All I know is I'm free from him now. The only thing I'm waiting for is that he finally overdoses himself & he's dead. I am buying a cup to send to him for our divorce anniversary gift so he can keep it in memory of how he treated me.
I loved it! Excellent quality!
I received the mug as a gift from a friend with whom I exchange "Weekaversary" eMails. I love the concept but am wondering why "aniversary" is spelled with only one "n?"
Wish it had the example text as well, but I loved it anyway
It’s great to be able to create your own mug.
My name is is Geet and literally this is literally a gem of a souvenir to have with me XD.
I love to put my lips on this in the morning
this mug got me hard
greatest mug ever.