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USS Jimmy Carter

The USS Jimmy Carter is a CNO Special Projects Boat. Originally destined to be the third in the vaunted Seawolf Class Nuclear Attack Submarine, she ended up being the last in the class, cut in half, extended by 100 feet, and sent to sea. A problematic, overengineered design to begin with, the Navy in their infinate wisdom, decided to throw 100 feet of even more overengineered crap in the middle and call it good. The Navy has been paying for that mistake (literally) ever since. If the logistical problems of maintaining a 3 boat class weren't bad enough, compound that with a laundry list of must-have parts that aren't made any more, add a touch of shipyard (EB) "craftsmanship", and sprinkle in a generous amount of DFS'. The phrase "SAT for sea" is commonly used, usually to describe the piece of duct tape being used to hold in that valve that penetrates the hull, half-assed welded in place by a stoned metalworker who came in drunk with half a joint in his mouth. If that wasn't bad enough, listen to the crew: There have been people stuck onboard for 5+ years with no end in sight. In that time, some of them have never gone to a school. Most of them have had multiple award nominations shot down by the upper echelon. Almost all of those going up for terminal leave have had it denied, or told it was a "set-in-stone" date, only to have it cancelled after tuition and a house has been paid for back home. Some have been in their rotation window up to 3 times, but keep getting extended because it's difficult to find someone who hasn't heard of this floating shitheap. Most boats lose 1-3 guys a year due to clearance, medical, legal, or psychological issues. The goodship JC has lost 42 since 2003 massively due to psychological issues. And nothing has been done, despite the many protests of the crew. Good men have been lost to this ongoing problem, and the loss rate is increasing. It's not limited to the blueshirts, either. Chiefs and officers have fallen before the incredible stresses needlessly placed on those aboard. Re-enlistment has been hovering just above 0% since the keel first touched water. Nobody wonders why. Crew morale is so bad, those onboard look forward to injury so they can get some rest. Crew morale is so bad that the COB had to make a ships picnic mandatory just to get some people to show up. Many arrived in the parking lot, waved, then turned around and left. A senior chief with 17 years in refuses to re-enlist and finish his 3 years because it's not worth extending onboard another 6 months. All in all, the "leading indicators" show that this boat is a crap-heap with a list of receipts 10 years long. The motto is "Semper Optima" meaning "Always the Best", but should be "Abandon Hope, All Ye Who Enter Here".

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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15

WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!

Jenny P.Jun 27

I got morb’d

Morbiu S.Jun 27

This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!

kill m.Jun 26

This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled

Doop S.Jun 26
Review by Fay D.

Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!

Fay D.Jun 25
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Smaller than I expected for the price.

Susan .Jun 25
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i use my mug for sperm donation

QuandaleJun 24

10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?

Mike O.Jun 24

Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌

Juck F.Jun 24

My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.

Joseph M.Jun 23

it was day my mug had just arived i went to the door and grabed the box i closed the door AND BAM thge mug flew at me knockingme to the grouynd when on the ground the mug unzipped my pant a flew up my ass 10/10 loved it would buy

help c.Jun 23

I love pooping in this mug, great experince. But if you do more than 1 pound as I do, search for a bigger one

Giorgio G.Jun 23

i love men and cups so this cup was perfect for me

quiinten G.Jun 23

Amazing mug, really high quality, I love it!

Sponge B.Jun 23

fantastic, personal gift to share with anyone!

Doran M.Jun 23
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Review by Darlene M.

The mug arrived very packed and on time. I love how well crafted the coffee mug is. I plan on ordering other merch from URBAN Dictionary soon. Thanks.

Darlene M.Jun 23
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It morbed its way into my anus, a bit weird, but otherwise happy with my purchase

Morb i.Jun 22

After watching that anal jar video, I felt inspired. That's when I found this mug.

Billy J.Jun 22

FUCK YEAAAAAAAA! MUUUUGZ WOOOOOO

ASDJun 21

Happy with my purchase

Jennifer S.Jun 20
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