Useless Idiot

Derived from: “Useful Idiot” (20th century Cold War term for obedient pawns of authoritarian regimes) Modern Definition – 2025+ Edition: A person—typically overeducated and underemployed—who, despite possessing access to vast information and elite academic institutions, dedicates their life to parroting establishment propaganda, enforcing groupthink, and shaming dissenters, all while contributing nothing of real value to society. Unlike the original Useful Idiots, who were at least functionally useful to the regimes they served, Useless Idiots are a net drain on civilization: Degrees in Queer Postmodern Interpretive Dance or Climate Reparations Economics Attitudes of revolutionary importance while working part-time in coffee shops Unable to foam milk or reset a router, but will lecture you on intersectional hegemony while spelling your name wrong Full of rage when reminded they voluntarily majored in unemployability, and chose activism as personality Self-identify as anti-authoritarian rebels, yet demanded you be arrested in 2020 for hugging your grandma They serve you cold coffee with Ana Kasparian ("I'm Better Than You") sass and the smug self-regard of an unpaid MSNBC intern. They want the revolution, but only if someone else funds it and they still get oat milk.