The Suttonator
A machine, patented by The English Department Ltd, and designed purely to be possibly the most anti-social and hated contraption ever created. It contains 8 million anal transistors and just under 6 million bitch capacitors. The quirky designers implemented a function in the machine to make it teach English, and with that constantly brag about the degree it got at Oxford University; however they did not program it to mention that it was Oxford Brookes. The Suttonator has many pre-programmed voice commands and jingles; predominantly 'stop masticating', 'spit or swallow please' and the term 'Spankage'. Everything else it emits from its 380 Watt mouth is just indistinguishable shouting and screaming. The machine is designed to hate and be spiteful to everyone it encounters, but a small bug in the software makes it particularly fond of just a few students it teaches. It favours them above the rest of the class and showers them with praise and prizes. We still do not know today how this behaviour is formed, but it is suspected it has something to do with good behaviour in class. The design of The Suttonator is far from original. It is clearly closely inspired and almost an exact pastiche of Miss Sutton, the English Teacher. The only difference being that the machine cannot lactate; although there is no evidence that the human can either. Like 'Miss Sutton', The Suttonator has weaknesses: It hates to be humiliated in front of an audience and particularly dislikes people who are irritatingly cheerful. If you are subject of this, then you may be asked to 'stay behind after class'; a cheap but effective ploy in eliminating the perpetrator. No machine is without disadvantages, and The Suttonator has a severe problem with agility. Due to it's obscene weight and wide-birth extremities, it's top speed is 0.36 km/h, and has trouble fitting through doorways that it immediately claims have shrunk. Always dressed in a green coat, this machine closely resembles a concorde pear, with it's very wide hips, narrowing towards towards the head.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
After my divorce i hardly found anything to get me through the day. I was looking to buy some used socks on the internet for the thrill but i bumped into a website made my young adults. I had such a hard time understanding their slang that I almost busted into tears. In the hopes of not being scammed, I decided to Google every single word that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. After surfing through urban dictionary, it didn’t take long enough for me to fall in love with the entire concept and spend more than 90% of my day-to-day life on the website. From dirty words to actual explanations urban dictionary, made me complete and almost made me forget about my divorce. Fuck you, Susan, urban dictionary took your place. Suck on my educated toes. I bet you don’t know what a reckwhore means. LG Benjamin 10/10
LOVE THE MUG MY ONLY COMPLAINT IS THERE IS A TYPO ON IT . IT SAYS ...An insult hurled at a fat "dunk" woman by a redneck drunk man on an episode of Jail. SHOULDNT IT SAY.........An insult hurled at a fat "drunk" woman by a redneck drunk man on an episode of Jail. ??
I use it every morning. It's my favorite.
Bought this for my boss and now I'm part of the unemployment statistic, cool mug tho!
Cute, simple, as advertised.
My great great great great great uncle’s dog’s daughter’s owner’s sister loved this mug. Must recomend!!!
Got this for my dog
As a Jolology major, I love my new mug!
It was for a friends 70th b-day. When we order it, it was going to come 2 day after the party. But we were so excited it came 3 days before his party. It was a big hit. Thank you.
I gave it as a gift and the recipient loved it. No indication where it was made, so maybe USA? That would be really nice, if so.
I appreciated the email asking if the content was correct. Excellent quality and attention to detail. Thank you!
its an incredible mug! i would recommend purchasing this awesome product!
Damonism and #Stolen Valor Coffee Mug These coffee mugs are rugged, solid, high quality and keep the liquids hotter, longer. The definitions of both mugs are spot-on! I will definitely by more. Great work Urban Dictionary!
why is this a real thing? AND YA'LL ACTING LIKE IT'S NORMAL!?
I really like the mug, but I thought I had ordered the all pink one. What came was a white with a block of pink with "Fubar" written on it.
the only reason why i care about humanity this mug is the reason why i believe humanity deserves a second chance, even after they blaspheme my name. this mug is the greatest thing i've ever seen and i have ordered many of them. this mug replaces the holy grail. the bible should've told about the wonderful deeds of the mug and how it saved humanity from my wrath. alas, whilst the laws keep me from tampering with human minds and altering holy objects like the bible, i can only pass on my message: "spread the news and buy this mug!"
Its.. omg, its............. AMAZING AMAZING OMG ITS SOOO GOOD
A mug for your boyfriend Paul????? My boyfriend is not called Paul. I don't even have a boyfriend
Great mug... finally got my ""your mom gay lol" mug, I'm so happy
ariana grande mug omg this slays mah life
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