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The Suttonator

A machine, patented by The English Department Ltd, and designed purely to be possibly the most anti-social and hated contraption ever created. It contains 8 million anal transistors and just under 6 million bitch capacitors. The quirky designers implemented a function in the machine to make it teach English, and with that constantly brag about the degree it got at Oxford University; however they did not program it to mention that it was Oxford Brookes. The Suttonator has many pre-programmed voice commands and jingles; predominantly 'stop masticating', 'spit or swallow please' and the term 'Spankage'. Everything else it emits from its 380 Watt mouth is just indistinguishable shouting and screaming. The machine is designed to hate and be spiteful to everyone it encounters, but a small bug in the software makes it particularly fond of just a few students it teaches. It favours them above the rest of the class and showers them with praise and prizes. We still do not know today how this behaviour is formed, but it is suspected it has something to do with good behaviour in class. The design of The Suttonator is far from original. It is clearly closely inspired and almost an exact pastiche of Miss Sutton, the English Teacher. The only difference being that the machine cannot lactate; although there is no evidence that the human can either. Like 'Miss Sutton', The Suttonator has weaknesses: It hates to be humiliated in front of an audience and particularly dislikes people who are irritatingly cheerful. If you are subject of this, then you may be asked to 'stay behind after class'; a cheap but effective ploy in eliminating the perpetrator. No machine is without disadvantages, and The Suttonator has a severe problem with agility. Due to it's obscene weight and wide-birth extremities, it's top speed is 0.36 km/h, and has trouble fitting through doorways that it immediately claims have shrunk. Always dressed in a green coat, this machine closely resembles a concorde pear, with it's very wide hips, narrowing towards towards the head.

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The Urban Dictionary Mug

Ceramic mug (11 oz)
Printed on-demand just for you
Dishwasher safe
Microwave safe
Word on front, definition on back
Comfortable handle
Every order personally reviewed
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I was very pleased with the mug and I was thrilled that I could purchase a customized item that perfectly suited the person I was gifting. The only issue I had was that it didn't have the quote from the tv show the word came from as that was pictured on the mug prior to purchase.

Zeezee E. Jan 2
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Came out just as described! Had the full definition. Very pleased!

Andrew O. Jan 2
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Perfect gift As a joke I gave one to my mate but I costumised it. It said tom drunk 24/7 ugly and got lovely hair. The lovely hair part was a joke coz he don’t have any. It was his favourite gift he got for his birthday and he drinks his beer out of it 😂

Tia Jan 2

Great mug…. Got one for Cole M.’s girlfriend.

Hans C. Jan 1

I ordered a customized mug for my gf and everything came out well. There were no autocorrect mistakes and the mug was unscratched. Would shop here again

Benjamin P. Jan 1
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Also got one for Cole M.'s girlfriend, even faster sex.

Big D. Jan 1

Istgd imma force my mum to buy this idek hw i find out but this shit looks fucking fire

yo m. Jan 1
Review by Bradley J.

Perfect coffee cup for a hockey fan. Great conversation starter.

Bradley J. Jan 1
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Perfect gift! My husband loved it. So funny and clever!

karen b. Dec 31
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Great mug… got one for my girlfriend… instant sex

Cole M. Dec 31
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As always, these are well made mugs that stand up to most anything. And they make perfect gifts (in this case for dirty-minded members of a wedding party). I’m extremely pleased.

Etan N. Dec 31
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Is a great mug that I purchased as a gag gift for a coworker. You know the one who also as interesting words/phrases that only urban dictionary can explain. Great as a coffee mug and better as conversation piece!

JULIE K. Dec 30
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👍

Matthew K. Dec 30
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Review by Rhodrey S.

The mug exceeded my expectations. Really excellent quality and build

Rhodrey S. Dec 30
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Jim, you’re a fucking idiot interfering with accurate ratings and legitimate feedback. Get a hobby.

Everyone Dec 30

Great gift!

Christina S. Dec 29
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A little spendy, but worth it.

Richard D. Dec 29
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My wife kept talking about "ways out" being a Denver version of "psych" and she was right, so I got her this once I found it on UD. She loved it!

Nima K. Dec 29
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It's a great mug, will reccomend to family members my grandma gave me this mug for christmas and it was by far the best gift i got.

Kyle Birchfield Dec 28

It arrived three weeks after ordering but given the holiday rush and inability of shipping to keep on schedule arrived late but was perfect little gift from me to my wife for her morning coffee with her "nickname" on the mug.

Bill W. Dec 28
✓ Verified Purchase

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