Sperm

You were once sperm. I was once sperm. The person that made your sperm was once sperm. The person who made the sperm of the person who made your sperm was once sperm. Fuck it, we were all once sperm. Sperm is the little white substance known for its ovular "body" and thin, squiggly tail. You don't want to know where it comes from. Well screw you, you're gonna have to in order to get this stupid ass definition done and over with. *deep breath* It comes from your dad's dick to your mom's vagina so it can reach the egg while 69ing. So yes, we're all essentially just white piss from your dad, in a way. I know. I threw up in my mouth several times while I was writing this just as you did as you are reading it. Your sperm, once ejaculated into your mother, breaks out in a life or death race (in quite the most literal sense) against about 500 million other sperm to fertilize the egg. The "winner" of this race, also known as "The Golden Sperm", fertilizes the egg so your fetus can grow inside. Once the egg is reached by The Golden Sperm, it for some god-stupid-fucking damn-probably-messed-up-as-shit-yet-undiscovered reason shoots out tsunamis of Genocide Acid and kills all 500 million of your friends before they're even born. Yet you wonder why you have no friends today. But on the bright side of this, just remember you are one in 500 million.