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Sperm Hoodie

You were once sperm. I was once sperm. The person that made your sperm was once sperm. The person who made the sperm of the person who made your sperm was once sperm. Fuck it, we were all once sperm. Sperm is the little white substance known for its ovular "body" and thin, squiggly tail. You don't want to know where it comes from. Well screw you, you're gonna have to in order to get this stupid ass definition done and over with. *deep breath* It comes from your dad's dick to your mom's vagina so it can reach the egg while 69ing. So yes, we're all essentially just white piss from your dad, in a way. I know. I threw up in my mouth several times while I was writing this just as you did as you are reading it. Your sperm, once ejaculated into your mother, breaks out in a life or death race (in quite the most literal sense) against about 500 million other sperm to fertilize the egg. The "winner" of this race, also known as "The Golden Sperm", fertilizes the egg so your fetus can grow inside. Once the egg is reached by The Golden Sperm, it for some god-stupid-fucking damn-probably-messed-up-as-shit-yet-undiscovered reason shoots out tsunamis of Genocide Acid and kills all 500 million of your friends before they're even born. Yet you wonder why you have no friends today. But on the bright side of this, just remember you are one in 500 million.

Mug Tee
Size guide
2XL L M S XL

The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

Soft and cozy blend
Printed on-demand just for you
Drawstring hood
Front pouch pocket
Ribbed cuffs and waistband
Design on front, blank back
Every order personally reviewed

Customer Reviews

23
5
0
0
0

TO THOSE ASKING, YES, THE GORGEOUS MAN COMES WITH THE SWEATSHIRT BUTTTT YOU HAVE TO PAY 100 TIMES MORE THAN ASKING!

smiggen s. Mar 10

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

Harold Mar 5

Orderd a large hoodie about two years ago and the print in still holding up. I recently order a XL just do to the fact that the original has shrunk a little. The new hoodie is made with thicker material and fits perfect. I recommend ordering one size up.

Marcus D M. Mar 4
✓ Verified Purchase

Hahaha hoodie says cum dump and I wore it in public

Katrina S. Mar 3

Question… does that gorgeous man come with the sweatshirt? I will gladly pay 100 times more than asking!

Maddi M. Feb 27

bro my dog started barking when I wore this hoodie, he started talking in spanish and was like "Aiiiiii te ves sexy ¿Puedo conseguir tu número?" and then he did the stanky leg before he packed his bags and got 3 tickets to bikini bottom. I asked him who the other 2 people were and he told me "nah i just tryna sleep". Had to respect the dog, he got that dog in him. but yeah the hoodie was warm

Dogsta G. Feb 26

made me look like the gyatt rizzler,the girls loved it!!!

kai h. Feb 16

It was softer than expected! Great fit for me, I love the way it wears. It is my favorite sweatshirt

Craig C. Feb 11
✓ Verified Purchase

Size adult medium unisex was a perfect fit. Shirt was very soft. Could be a bit thicker for the price.

Art N. Feb 2
✓ Verified Purchase

Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.

Christen M. Jan 20
✓ Verified Purchase

I kinda liked it.

Lil M. Jan 3

Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.

Niwomugisha Chevonne Dec 16

Quality This is the highest quality product

Bundai Dec 4

Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10

Owen Nov 30
Review by Ahmed E.

I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.

Ahmed E. Nov 16
✓ Verified Purchase

Mr Tulppo Is next This hoodie is my favorite article of clothing

Sam Nov 8

Would be South better to have the definition on it as well like we used to be able to customize tshirts, sweats or mugs especially at the higher prices…

Mitzi K. Nov 6
✓ Verified Purchase

Absolutely brilliant my Argentinian son wi be very pleased

Big S. Oct 20

My boy like the hooded attire.

Ngalasa i. Oct 18

Navy Quality Goods Awesome! My girlfriend Becca loves it!

Alex Sadler Sep 24
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