Mortanius
1. The oldest creature in the world, though not of this world. Mortanius was transformed into a single-cell organism and abandoned on the earth 44 billion years ago by his native race. Over the last 44 billion years, he has evolved into an ambiguous, malevolent being. He can take, but is not limited to, the following forms: -man-sized roach -mischevious fox present in Japanese mythology -various trees -crude robot -various insects -Egyptian jackal deity, though he is most skittish in this form, often denying that he takes it. -sickly human -jet-propelled swimming pool cleaner -television (in this form, fond of saying 'fiddle with my knobs') In addition, Mortanius suffers unknowingly from heroin addiction and ejaculates all bodily fluids nightly. The being also has several additional characteristics, including the ability to stretch his neck, control all plant life except members of "the resistance," control insects and maintain animation despite death and decay. He also enjoys limited control over a symbiote that has attached itself to his body, though he has never been able to coerce the symbiote to his most desired "penis fingers" form.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
as a fan of non-Z-generation-UD (since 2000 more or less) , especially of old-school definitions ("phat!") (as Nick, the more time passes by, the more I reach my inner age = 75 XD) , I totally appreciated the delivery in time for Christmas! (whispering) Perhaps printing quality in the Spain printing company is not as good as in the US, but - hey! - I got it before Christmas as a gift for my thank-God-non-Gen-Z-sister! ;) hugs from the eighties, and from Italy, and thanks! Mario
This is SO cool. Morning coffee will always memorialize my new addition to the English lexicon.
Too inappropriate
Item came at appropriate time in good condition.
epic
Got exactly what I wanted. Very happy with my mug.
It came faster than I thought it would and it looks great!
i am literally shitting literal bricks please help my asshole is on fire
Looked great, came earlier than expected, and in perfect condition!
It came faster than I thought it would and it looks great!
Ur momgay Very cool it is. mmmmmh very much I like.
Every Aspect of my Order (as First-Time customer) was actually very good, nice. .I ordered a white drinking mug with a Red background with text. would recommend this Site again.
so cool! u can make sarcastic stuff too. i put: sarcasm: being an absolute asshole
Like the mug for my daughter, but didn’t notice that I had color choices when checking out. The yellow was pre-set so I got that color. Would much rather have selected a different color.
Cute, well-made mug! Exactly like the photo. I can't wait to give this as a gift this Christmas!
The description of a person by their names is the realest I’ve ever come across
Mug looks great and everything is spelled correctly.
I love my mug! 💘
the photo is all you need to know.
It’s pretty damn cool
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