keyport Mug
welcome to keyport, home of the red raider, and the town of wonder and joy. sorta. this town is one square mile, and full of fun perhaps you would like a tattoo from one of the various tattoo parlors, fat kat or taboo, your preferance. did you stop by for some clams, which used to be one of our main exports? or perhaps a football game, we'll probably win it! the people- uppers: friendly, caring, loyal to their town, have a family like quality, tend to have a good knowledge of high school football stats. Everybody knows everybody. downers: not the smartest, sometimes too loyal, a little racist, everybody knows everybody. the school system- uppers: small, you can be the big fish in the little pond, tests arent hard, no homework, little bullying, good sports program. you can hang out and get something delicious before and or after school at broadway bagels. the chicken patties at keyport high are famous. however, if you dont want to send your kid to a public school, there is st. joes the catholic elementary school. downers: not a challenge at all, students are lazy, teachers are a little crazy, no ones that smart, most students end up going to brookdale for college, if anywhere. politics- uppers: recently there has been a pretty even split of democrats and republicans. the council members are young and loyal to their town. downers: a little corrupt. eateries:( many of these are establishments, where keyport elders ate, and still eat today, those are marked with an 'e') mikes subs (e), keyport pizza (e), expresso joes, mcdougnaghs, first wok, dunkin donuts, trinity, chicken coupe, sal and ginos, cornucopia, drews bayshore bistro, keyport fishery (e), a hot dog place that changes its name every month, ye cottage in (e), bulkhead (e), debis icecream, broadway bagels, the yellow rose (e), seaport diner (e), dominoes, ihop, the office. for fun: the keyport firemens fair, a townwide celebration with fun, excitement, and self loathing. fantasies, a local strip joint seconds away from keyport highschool, if youre into that. st. joes fair, the lame version of the firemens fair, its sponsored by the catholic elementary school st. joes. sports, such as pop warner football and cheerleading, and K.Y.A.L., the recreational basketball league, and the school sports teams. also, expresso joes, which have local bands playing on certain nights. then there is always fishing,and more recently skateboarding. Keyport also has many other "funtivities" throughout the year, such as the chilli fest, however these are not as established as the others. hangouts: dunkin donuts (for the younger ones), expresso joes (for the sophisticated), Keyport library (for the bored/old/moms), broadway bagels (for the everyones, but only during the school year), cedar st. park (for the kids that need a break from their parents), and the bulkhead (for the first date/ the people who want a delicious dinner from the raritan bay).
The Urban Dictionary Mug
I love the cup and I’m certain I’ll be checking with you guys in the future..
*To those looking to purchase, others may criticize your sense of humor.* I love the thug shaker mug! It stands out as a quality desk ornament that all of my co workers are envious of. However, the other world leaders seem to find the thug shaker unfunny and immature for the work place. My wife says she will leave me if she sees it out one more time. I think I may have to give up the thug shaker persona once and for all. Stay strong thugs.
fuck you and your mugs give me a shirt or ill shit on you
Love love love it! Customer service gave me a coupon, let me know that I had to revise the definition when too long, and overall super helpful.
Nice Mug my second Mug. A little staining or photo graphic stain on the side of the cup and shown in the picture. As a result I cannot give a 5 Star Review.
The snarky message on the mug always gets big laughs from guests so I'm now using it as my go-to bourbon glass
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!
nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
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