Isla Vista

Isla Vista is artless province rotting from within the virgin innards of Santa Barbara County. It is a college town and everybody does keg stands until their eyes poop out of their faces, at which point they use these were-eyes to play beer pong, at which point the game is called Blind-Pong, and there is music playing that sounds like this: You kaint see me tho Thowin balls atcha cup thowin balls atcha bitch (bridge refrain verse) On Tuesday nights Isla Vistans ritually sit in VERY small groups and do the reading of words, either from the books, the internet or the news paper. Snorting lines of cocaine off of the knowledge they outcry (frats, sororities, cooperatives - everybody, factually noting): "Poop." At the center of Isla Vista there is a great tower, which can only be reached by spelunking through a great cave which takes the adventurer through lifetimes of irony and cognitive dissonance (and nightmares induced by intense loneliness - it literally takes lifetimes to get through the cave) and when the young adventurer gets to the tower, she jumps from its great height and lands in the arms of angels below on The Of Del The Playa (The BEach, in Spainish), the sands they are cold and warm with intent; the waters are the healers of tomorrow and the white bitches Well, the white bitches go to heaven Ninjas call it That Gnarly Obstacle Course ( / Tree of Knowledge).