iPod
What is an iPod? It's a little piece of metal that you plug headphones into and listen to music. I remember when I was seven and we had a device that achieved the same goal - a Discman. You can buy them nowadays for ... ohhh ... somewhere around the proximity of zero dollars. Discmans worked fine back in the day. Now that there is better technology, all of a sudden Discmans are worthless. But why? Discmans never got worse, technology got better. Worthless technology. The concept is to listen to music with no strings attached. Discmans accomplish this just fine. The iPod is capable of holding 10,000 songs. Who the fucking hell needs that much? Of the 80 million+ iPod owners in the world, how many have maxed out the space? Only about 14. Merely fourteen people have successfully filled their iPod. And strangely enough, all of these kids were in the same room at the same time. It was at the annual GROTEFP (Geekiest Rejects on the Entire Fucking Planet) convention. So you like iPods because they're smaller than CD players? That's reasonable, but how much is it worth to you to shave off a few precious inches? The iPod ends up being ten square inches smaller than the average portable CD player. That means a total of about three inches squared. It's only three inches. That's tiny, and for three hundred dollars? Penis enlargment pills offer you an extra three inches, and they're only $40-$50. Now honestly, would you rather have three inches less of audio player or a Discman and huge dick? Size wouldn't even matter then because you could just hang the player from your enormous cock. Now that the size issue is settled, perhaps a Discman isn't the answer because you require more than 3 seconds of anti-skip. Oh, wait! Discmans nowadays don't skip! Ever. That can't be what makes up for the drastic difference in money. The iPod can hold 10,000 songs. The Discman uses CDs which hold usually up to 20 songs. Perhaps you don't want to carry 100 CDs everywhere you go. Oh, wait! Discmans play mp3s now! That's like 100 songs per CD! And unlike an iPod that maxes out at 10,000, Discmans have a removable source. So if we have 100 songs per CD and potentially infinite CDs, that's ... umm ... 100 infinity songs? iPods have rechargable batteries, but so does Ace Hardware store. A bunch of new technology and impressive statistics really don't mean much. When it comes down to it, an iPod isn't that great. So why could it possibly cost so much more money than Discmans, mini disk players, and cheaper mp3 players?
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Nice Mug my second Mug. A little staining or photo graphic stain on the side of the cup and shown in the picture. As a result I cannot give a 5 Star Review.
The snarky message on the mug always gets big laughs from guests so I'm now using it as my go-to bourbon glass
Love the coffee mug. Would have been nice to see who had the word accepted into Urban Dictionary printed on the bottom of the mug. As I was the one. "Dusty Dawg" Other than that I love.
fuck ur mugs i want one for free
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
Arrived exactly on time( as projected) ;( beautiful blue color 💙 as specified) loving it ! ❤️
Loved the mug! It really suits me, my co-workers love it.
Pissah!
nice.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
my mom (Mia) loves the mug you made it is amazing you made her day #girlboss
I love da gooning mug. now i know how to goon and i can goon with my cool new gooner friends !
We really like our cup!!!
Just as described. Excellent packaging. Timely shipping. No problems here. Thanks!
Just wish it could have had a little more of the text on the mug, but otherwise it's great. What a clever marketing idea to be able to get this on t-shirts and mugs.
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
It’s a sturdy ceramic mug. A little pricey, IMO, but I really wanted this definition on a mug. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
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