Gonzalez

A Latino “man” who constantly forgets everything, his keys, glasses, etc… According to tradition he must have his room and sink dirty and smelly at least 360 days of the year. In order to finish some of the excessive meals a Gonzalez would eat he must evacuate his bowls midway through the meal to expand the capacity of his stomach. The Gonzalez creature has been known to consume over 200 pounds of raw meat in a serving. You can tell you are dealing with a Gonzalez by his distinct smell which originates mainly from the foot area. It has been attempted to eradicate this smell with ultra-strength deodorizers however all attempts have failed (see skunk). Gonzalez’s have not evolved to the point where walking on 2 feet is comfortable, the Gonzalez will frequently stumble or trip while attempting to move. A Gonzalez is able to drink an entire bottle of tequila in one night and remain sensible; however depriving a Gonzalez of even one hour of sleep can have detrimental affects to both coordination and mental capacity. A common belief of the Gonzalez is that God = 2k+1. A Gonzalez is also handicaped when it comes to cooking meals. (re-heating would be a more appropriate term) Frequently the Gonzalez burns food while it is pre occupied with other things. This contributes to the dirty smell of his environment.