Deology

n. (Dee-ah-lo-jee) (Also known as 8=Deology) The study and science of the "D," D standing for "Dick." When using the word deology, this is usually in reference to estimating a man's erect penile size. This science has been used unconsciously by women and homosexual men for mating purposes and straight men for territorial purposes for thousands of years. Only recently has it been put into words, and then into a standard procedure, known as the scale of Deology. The standard procedure is as follows: On a scale of 0, 0.5, and 1 (0 being the lowest, 1 being the highest), please rate the chosen individual on the following factors: 1. Height 2. Size of phalanges, metacarpus, carpus (hands) 3. Size of shoes 4. Pitch of voice (Low voice equals 1, medium voice equals 1.5, high voice equals 0) 5. Swagger/Ego (or Swego) A few things must be taken into account. For height, if individual is extremely tall, the 1 point for "Height" must be intensified when adding points together. For size of hands, if individual is short but has large hands, the 0.5 to 1 point must be intensified when adding points together. For size of shoes, see size of hands. For tone of voice, 0 points for a high voice, 0.5 for a medium voice, and 1 for a low voice. Also, if "Height," "Size of hands," and "Size of shoes" are lacking, one must take into account that the former three are typically genetic. Pitch of voice, however, is attained during puberty due to release of testosterone into a young man's system. Testosterone also affects how large a young man's D grows during puberty. Therefore, if a smaller individual has a lower voice, the 1 point must be intensified when adding the points together. For swagger/ego/"swego", swagger is defined as "how one presents him/herself to the world. Swagger is shown from how the person handles a situation. It can also be shown in the person's walk. (Urban Dictionary, 2005)" Ego is defined as "Appropriate pride in oneself; self-esteem. (American Heritage Dictionary, 2003)" This being, the individual thinks he is "the shit," even if he is just "shit." If individual has a large amount of said swagger, please intensify the 1 point while adding points together. If individual does not have swagger but has a large amount of said ego, please take into account while analyzing points points. While adding and analyzing points, if individual has greater than or equal to 2.5 points out of 5, the person may have an above average sized D. If individual has less than 2.5 points out of 5, the person may have a below average D. There are two anomalies, however, known as "the G factor" and "the V factor." The G factor, G standing for Gay, is referring to a recent study in the Netherlands showing that homosexual males are known to have a larger D than that of heterosexual males (Bogaert, Anthony F.; Hershberger S (June 1999)). This can change the entire outcome of ones added points. If individual is homosexual, they may or may not have a larger D. The V factor, V standing for Virgin, is the fact that being a virgin affects swagger. If individual is a known virgin, please consider while analyzing points for swagger, and consider how much more confident he would be did he not have the V factor. There are general outcomes when using the system, and these are as follows: Normal outcomes: Tall + big hands + big feet + low voice + swag = Above Average D (SCORE: 5 OUT OF 5, i.e. African(-American) or European(-American) Men) Short + small hands + small feet + high to low voice + variable swag = Below Average D (SCORE 0-2 OUT OF 5, i.e. Asian(-American) or Latin(-American) Men) unless swag is very, very, intense Other outcomes, but not restricted to: If swego has the intensity of a thousand suns, person is most likely able to pleasure another individual with intensity, finesse, passion, efficiency, and sheer God-given ability, no matter what the score on the other factors. (SCORE: 1-5 OUT OF 5) If a short person with a high voice has large hands, large feet, and intense swego, person may have an average D, but is very capable of pleasuring another individual. (SCORE: 3 OUT OF 5) If a short person with small hands and average feet has a low voice and intense swego, person may have an above average D. (SCORE: 2.5 OUT OF 5) If a tall person has a high voice and no swego, person may have a below average D. (SCORE: 3 OUT OF 5) If a moderately tall person has large hands and large sized feet, has a low voice, and intense swego, person may have an above average D and the capabilities of pleasuring another individual. (SCORE: 4.5 OUT OF 5) If a very tall person with large hands, large feet, and a low, but not necessarily sexy or attractive voice does not have swag, but has an ego, said individual is probably very, very annoying, but has an above average D but is probably not as good at pleasuring another individual as he would like to believe. (SCORE: 3.5 OUT OF 5) It is known that a man cannot properly score himself on the Deology scale; only a group of people in a separate area where he is not within earshot or paying attention can score him. In fact, a man will probably never know the true outcome of his scoring on the scale of Deology.