Cream Dream Mug

Many a philosopher(1) has considered the notion of a ‘cream dream’. The following is an attempt to outline and clarify this peculiar concept. During the course of this exposition many (some obvious, some not so) metaphysical considerations may arise. However these I shall waiver in the best interests of our good friend brevity. A ‘cream dream’, then, may be defined as an event that arouses feelings of exaltation, pleasure, joy, or any other synonymous adjective denoting positive feelings or emotions. It is essentially a mental event (though with some physical links, as we shall see later). Moreover it is an intentional event:(2) it contains some sort of aboutness or directedness towards some subject. In the traditions of Western thought there exists a distinction between two types of ‘cream dream’: one in the abstract, the other in actuality. How they differ I shall now take some time to explain. A ‘cream dream’ in the abstract exists purely in the thought. It is ‘non-physical’ phenomena, and may be categorised as a Cartesian ‘mental event’. It may serve as an antecedent or precursor to some physical event, but is never the result of a physical event. Conversely, a ‘cream dream’ in the actuality is purely ‘physical’ phenomena. It is the culmination, and direct result of, of a bio-mental causal chain that begins with a ‘cream dream’ in the abstract and ends with a nice big jizz bomb.(3) It is because of its function as the source of a ‘cream dream’ in the actuality, as well as its ability to function without a ‘cream dream’ in the actuality, that we may say with confidence that a ‘cream dream’ in the abstract is a priori of more significance. Notes (1) I anticipate that my use of the term ‘philosopher’ in this article will cause some controversy. I do not wish to supply arguments to support or justify my usage, since the debate as to what it entails or what it is to be a philosopher is itself controversial. (2) I would hope the more pedantic among us would ignore the use of the word ‘event’ in classifying a ‘cream dream’. I wish to emphasise (without argument) that I am not begging the question. (3) Although I should point out that the target is discretionary.