chalga

Chalga is a noise peaty similar to the noise that an old farmer makes after consuming a gallon of Rakia combined with the popular village meal – Bean with weenie. The recipe of that meal is known only by the most enlightened and noble villagers such as Granma Pena, Aunty Guna etc. One of the main ingredients of that meal is garlic (don’t ask me how I got to this). So, the combination of that food, drink and the old fat farmer is equal to the chalga singer and those noises that I mentioned earlier. The only difference is that when the farmer opens his mouth to share the noise with the world, is with a smell of death weasels and when the chalga singer opens her mouth the smell is like a, lets say, a mixture of a drunken lad’s copulating organ and fake perfume “Prada” bought from the popular perfume maker Hasan who owns a store at the “Ilienci” mall. The look of a chalga singer is very complicated mix of silicon, enormous quantity of make up and lest not forget the main thing – the black thong worn under a white trouser or skirt (depend on the stage that the singer performs its noise) and a red brassiere (most of the time 2-3 times smaller that the breast size) hiding only the nipples of the singer. *Fans of that music are necessary to have the following items: WV Golf 2 (black with PK registration plate), chain from the flusher of the WC stolen from his grandmothers flat in Fakulteta and worn on the neck, white towel socks, flip floppers Abidas, trainer pans (called Anzung), black lather jacket and wet thank with undefined colour and origin. It is also essential to have at least one fake golden tooth. *The above definition varies depending on the region, nationality and age of the person.