cannibalistic trolls Mug
A breed of mythological creature that lives in the forest of magical silliness. Their everlasting enemies are the alabaster dwarfs. They are wild and untameable beasts, who roam the forest on dark nights, looking for earth dwellers. They beat them over the head for fun, with their wooden clubs that are stained with goober blossom blood. They also kill goober blossom plants so the alabsater dwarfs have no food, because they find it quite humourous. The trolls diet is very simplistic. They feed on each other, and only need to eat once every month. If a troll dies, they eat it after it rots, so the flesh is tender. Their life span is very long, so sometimes the trolls must sacrifice one of their own in order to survive. During the sacrificial ceremony, the trolls throw the bodies of alabaster dwarfs at the troll being sacrificed, until it is fully buried, and it suffocates. Cannibalistic trolls mate once every three hundred and sixty five days, and give birth to approximately ten children for each pregnancy, which lasts about five days. Young trolls eat squirrels and fairies until their three inch long teeth grow in. At this time, they are now able to eat the flesh of their own kind. The trolls are solitary animals, but coem togeher are a comuntiy on full moons, for that is the night that they feast. The trolls travel all throughout the forest of magical silliness, but take shelter beneath the roots of the giant peach trees. They gaurd the peach trees, which makes them very hard to chop down. They only clean themselves if they are being sacrificed, and they bathe in the juices excreted from the womb of male cannibalistic trolls. It is presumed that by 2010, the cannibalistic trolls will have wiped out all of the alabaster dwarfs. Please help us kill off the cannibalistic trolls so the alabaster dwarfs can be saved, even though they are basically doomed to fail. If you would like to try and attempt to save the Dwarfs, feel free to donate to the Save The Alabaster Dwarfs Foundation (SADF).
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Customer Reviews
Couldn't wait until the mug got home. Immediately after i bought it i wet myself. I couldn't help it. I got so bored of waiting i ordered 5 more mugs. And then another 5. And then ANOTHER 5. And now i have fucking 60 mugs that say schizophrenia on them. I only intended on gifting this mug to my schizophrenic younger sibling as a last gift before i inevitably must suffocate him with his own pillow. Now with all these mugs and have decided to put one mug on the old couple across the street's doorstep each day until eventually they are convinced that they are schizophrenic and see things that aren't there. Next i will get them to be taken to a mental institute where they will be locked up to live in an all-white facility for the rest of their lives. My hope is that i can do this to all of the neighbors on my street so i can finally get enough space so that i can run my hamster experiments in peace without my neighbors always wonder what the small hamster screams coming from my basement are. Anyways nice mug 8/10.
I dont remember writing "I have dementia" in this cup ? a bit strange... nice cup tho.
I dont even own the mug. I just wanted to write a review about how epic it is>>> fuck you
my kids loved it. delicious and a great snack. would buy again.
it was great 💀
Gave it to my girl, she loved it.
Best mug I have ever had
love shoving it up my ass on a daily!!!!!
WOW THIS MUG MATCHES MY NAME I'M DEFINITELY GETTING THIS FOR MY BIRTHDAY
WOW I LOVE THIS SO MUCH IT EVEN MATCHES MY NAME! I'm definitely getting this mug for my birthday!
I got morb’d
This jar is amazing for vomiting in! i definitely recommend if you have ugly kids!
This cup is cool. I farted on it and my butt tickled
Perfect customized gift- super easy and quick to do and the order arrived in under a week!
Smaller than I expected for the price.
i use my mug for sperm donation
10/10, great for taking a massive shit in. Overflows if its more than 2 pounds, but its part of the fun, right?
Needed one to gift to my colleague in pests exptermination department, takes care of my bug pretty well. Damn well of a bugger, if I would, ol' chap. 😌
My nan bought this mug, took one sip and died on the spot. absolute joke.
it was day my mug had just arived i went to the door and grabed the box i closed the door AND BAM thge mug flew at me knockingme to the grouynd when on the ground the mug unzipped my pant a flew up my ass 10/10 loved it would buy