Brennan

A high school teacher, usually an English teacher, who has been teaching children that are smarter than she is for so long that she now hates kids entirely and is completely jaded with the educational system. Usually wears an awkward mix of ugly solid colored sweaters with dress pants, and suffers horribly from the "muffin top effect". Researchers, after studying this phenomenon extensively, have dubbed it as the "Brennan mushroom top effect", due to the extreme nature of the situation. If your teacher is discovered to be a Brennan, switch classes immediately, or commit suicide. Teaching style usually involves 10-12 activities in a class that are never completed, a never-ending grammar practice, and reading stories that the Brennan itself cannot understand. This is coupled with random F's on any and all assignments, and students who pass a Brennan's class are proven to be better at Chinese than English(at least, students who have never studied Chinese are. Students with prior Chinese knowledge are found to forget that as well). All attempts to fight a Brennan have been met with failure. It is speculated that only a pizzly bear, Bear Grylls, Beowulf, or Barack Obama Himself could fight one off succesfully. However, due to the rarity of these mythical creatures, this hypothesis has never been tested.