Boyertown Mutant

An area of Pennsylvania where procreation results in a specie that is quite ugly and may be considered "slow". These things all look alike and demonstrate characteristics associated with "freak accidents". They are all tall, thin and pale with jet black hair and beady eyes. They are cannibals and enjoy horse meat. They wear Tevas all year round and drink warm milk. They shop at Wal-Mart FOR EVERYTHING and drive Chevy Astro vans with tinted windows. They enjoy gardening....in winter. Lawn gnomes adorn their property. They don't read bedtime stories to their children...they put on the 'human centipede' on blu-ray and leave the room. They only buy jordache jeans...white washed of course (however, if route 66 is on sale they will consider this as an alternative). Flannel is a must. Their weddings are performed by a blind little person who recites entire ceremony in pig latin. They are generally nice but do not wave to them as they consider this as a 'fuck you' and consider the middle finger as a sign of welcoming. They take poops on the hour...never a second earlier or later. Avoid area at all costs.