Beer Gorilla
The Beer Gorilla is, despite its size and strength, a remarkably stealthy creature. Beer Gorillas only come out very late at night or in the early hours of the morning. They stalk their prey - invariably, intoxicaed males - with great cunning, folloing them to their place of dwelling. The Beer Gorilla then waits patiently until all the occupants of the preisesare asleep and/or uncosncious before commencing its rampage. Sometimes the Gorilla will have sneaked in to the house after the drunken humans, and concelaed itself; on other occasions, it will employ its remarkable cimbing skills to enter via an upstairs window, or in extreme cases, a chimney - like a sort of Sith Santa Claus. Once inside the premises, the Gorilla proceeds to trash te place. Typical activities incude: - Eating every item of food in the premises and leaving the open containers scattered around (sometimes the Gorillla will order in a takeaway if insufficent cmestibles re to hand. - Leaving a kettle, or a suacepan containing eggs, on the stove to boil dry - Vomiting in a wide range of locations - Mis-connecting hi-fi equipment in an attempt to access encrypted satellite channels without the proper equipment - leavng refirdgerator and freezer doorsope just enough to ensure the contents spoil - Depositing turds of gargantuan proportions in lavatoies, then failing to flush. Often, muc work with a spade, chisel and bilhook is needed the following day to disrupt the structure of thse megaturds to the point where they will pass the U-bend, st hey have a tendency to set like cement. - urinating in beverage containers - Using an electric razor on domestic pets in a way that amuses intoxicated h8umns, but not the pets involved. - Arranging items of street furniture (moveable or fixed) in various artistic patterns trougout the property - Placing a complete stranger, in an unconscious and partially or completely unclothed state, on a couch, floor or sofa. Often the Gorilla will swap such individuals from other locations they visit, ensuring that when they awake, niether they nor the normal occupants have any idea of how they came to b there, or where their clothing and posessions are. The Gorilla will also damge houehold fiztures andfittings in peculiar and inexplicable ways, and introduce substances such as floor polish, multisurface cleaner, and talcum powder into the mouths of sleeping residents, then disposing of any fruit juice or other beverages which might be used to disperse the resultant dry mout and awful taste. They will also conceal or destroy all stocks of tea, coffee, and medications suitable for relieving hangovers. In the process of performing the above tasks, the Gorilla will also overturn furniture, strew clothes around, and cause utter chaos, like a quiet but extremely thorough Poltergeist.
The Urban Dictionary Mug
Great present for my wife, she uses it all the time, and it's her to a T.
Excellent satire - didn't see comments to that end, so find it hard to fathom if most readers, in turn, didn't laugh out loud, and say so. But apparently not.
The mug is awesome, the yellow color is great but green is also good, the scream mug is the best mug in my entyre live!!! I can't imagine my life without this mug, i cant stop buing it.... I have like 30 mugs every color in this site and also i'm ordered a new one, please help me.
looks perfect!!! we loved it
Shipped very fast and very carefully! Perfect inside joke gift for a friend. ^_^
As usual very quick professional seller.
Just as expected, high quality
good service, delivery time was quick
Great ordering experience..good quality
The day this mug entered my life, my depression was cured, I won the lottery, my dad came back from the dead, and my mum started loving me, motto beg but if you rub the mug 3 times a genie WIll grant you 69 wishes (I wished for more mugs 69 times)
Describes my classmate in school, perfect
Nice Mug my second Mug. A little staining or photo graphic stain on the side of the cup and shown in the picture. As a result I cannot give a 5 Star Review.
This mug, much like a cursed relic unearthed from the depths of despair, embodies a cacophony of design flaws and manufacturing mishaps that make one wonder if it was birthed from the darkest corners of incompetence itself. From its deceptively promising exterior, which boasts a color scheme akin to a bruised banana left out in the sun for too long, to its handle that feels more like a medieval torture device designed to punish the unsuspecting hand that dares to grasp it, every aspect of this mug screams "regret." Its material, a sinister amalgamation of recycled nightmares and shattered dreams, leeches a flavor reminiscent of stale coffee mixed with the tears of disappointed souls into whatever liquid unfortunate enough to be poured within its cursed confines. The rim, jagged and uneven like the edge of a poorly forged blade, guarantees that each sip is a perilous journey fraught with the risk of lip lacerations and existential dread. And let us not forget the bottom of this vessel, where the manufacturer's logo is stamped with all the subtlety of a scarlet letter, branding the user as a victim of their own poor purchasing decisions for all eternity. Indeed, this mug serves as a stark reminder that sometimes, in the vast expanse of consumer goods, there exists a dark abyss where quality and utility fear to tread, leaving only disappointment and regret in their wake.
I think it’s funny and the quality is really good. Shipping was pretty fast too.
My cat likes this mug. Here is a pic of his happy lil face. ------>
Without this mug, my life was but a series of painful unfortunate events. Since it has come into my life, love has followed, joy has followed and dishonour has been disavowed. Sincerely. From the bottom of my heart. Thank you. Please keep up the good work and I hope everyone will find joy as I have one day.
Sent this to my crush now she has a restraining order on me!!!
I love the Duh Big Red Truck so much that I have a tattoo. So does my best friend. We’re in our 60s. Woot woot!
I spent the money and directly sent this to be the pettest person ever to a person who was doing this to me. It was awesome
Best purchase of my life, it's all downhill from here!
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