Urban Dictionary Hoodies

Turds With Friends: Playing the popular online game Words With Friends....while going to the bathroom.

zing: An interjection commonly used after making a witty joke at someone else's expense while they are present.

Stupid Tax: The cost associated with engaging in any form state sanctioned of long odds gambling, i.e. playing the lottery.

Apple Year: The amount of time it takes an Apple product to get old, from the day it is purchased. An Apple Year is usually less than one month, although it depends based on the product

Rosetta Stoned: One who gets so high that he or she begins to speak in a foreign language.

glamping: Glamorous camping. Satisfying your craving for the outdoors and your penchant for a good meal, nice glass of wine, and a comfortable bed.

fart apnea: Similar to sleep apnea, though a patient continually wakes themselves up due to the severity of their fart.

Brotox: Noun, botox when used on a straight male, usually something he doesn't want you to know about. Some men use to prevent or erase wrinkles, while others use it to improve their impassive poker face.

Google tic: The uncontrollable urge to conduct a Google search on any and every question, thought, concept, word or name that comes to mind, including new acquaintances, products and companies.

The Airport Effect: The temporary increase in self importance that individuals assign to themselves while waiting at airports. Future passengers suffering from the airport effect often portray more serious facial expressions, increase their cell phone speaking volume if discussing business matters, and perform fake work on their laptop near heavily populated areas.

cock 'n balled: When someone draws a penis and testes, dick and scrote, or cock and balls on a possession of yours, most typically a car. The 'drawing' can be birthed from a finger wiping through dirt, sharpie marker, DNA, or anything else that would commonly be regarded as hilarious.

Granny spam: Unwanted, non-personal email received from a family member, friend or colleague. Granny spam has usually been forwarded several times and concerns such inane topics as childish jokes, dubious political propaganda, spurious computer security alerts or claims of monetary recompense in exchange for forwarding of said spam. Subject lines are often of the form "FW: FW: FW: FW: bullshit" Origin: Usenet, circa 1990-1999.

associate's walk: When you approach an Associate in a Big Box Store and request directions to an item or a department, the Associate will "guide" you to the location, using a very specific, walk style. They will walk in front of you and their pace is slowed down, similar to being the first car in a motorcade.

lightweight reader: Someone who gets sleepy or passes out shortly after starting to read.

ambisextrous: Having the ability to masturbate successfully with both hands.

qwerty nosedive: Falling asleep at the keyboard

St. Patrick's Day: Wear green. Go to parades and bars. Drink Guinness. Get snot hanging drunk. Act like an idiot. Blame March 17th.

tranq: (Short for tranquilizer.) 1. A sedative, or the act of sedating. 2. Any chemical substance used for calming a human or animal through injection or ingestion.

skinny fat: This is when you look skinny but you have an untoned body. a.k.a. the stomach area

Steak and Blowjob Day: Celebrated on March 14th, Steak and Blowjob Day is a holiday for men, celebrated the month after Valentine's Day -- a holiday for women. The idea is simple: no cards, flowers, candy or other whimsical gifts. Ladies (and gay men), you simply bestow your partner with a steak and a blowjob. Not necessarily in that order.

dental swag: the complementary stuff with which you leave your dentist’s office: toothbrush, dental floss, etc.

malemployed: When what you do for a living makes you want to kill yourself.

brown carded: When a person does not wash their hands after taking a dump they receive a brown card. Similar to a warning in sports.

relationship material: n. A status bestowed from one individual upon another exemplifying satisfaction anticipated from maintaining a relationship with that individual. This evaluation is highly subjective and typically reflects a great deal of personal preference. However, this term is usually used in situations where the relationship is not exclusively sexual (i.e., it is not used to describe a fuck buddy).

SMTA: abbrev. "Sick minds think alike." It is a variation of GMTA.

rdc: abbreviation for 'really don't care'

totes: (abbreviation) stands for totally.

politics: The fastest way to piss off anybody and make enemies.