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norwegian vampire

A vampiric female that can live up to 300 years. This particular breed sucks the life out of a human not by blood, rather by sperm. Despite their age, their aging process is relative to that of humans (i.e. a 200 year old Norwegian Vampire will look like a 60 year old woman). Norwegian Vampires can only birth females, which is why no one has ever seen a male Norwegian Vampire. When they bite, they don't go for the neck as a traditional vampire does. Instead, she might seduce you into your hotel room or roofie your drink to bring you to her own home, where she gives you the best blow job of your life, undoubtedly due to her centuries of experience. In the midst of the action, she lowers her head and aims for the scrotum, maybe telling you to "relax" as she leans in to massage your testacles with her tongue. Then, in a matter of seconds, you feel an intense pain in your genitals, and you pull back only to realize that her locked fangs are penetrating your scrotum, causing your entire ball sac to tear off from the sudden jerk. She spits both testacles into her hands and inserts them into each nostril, forcefully sucking the sperm dry out of each one with a prolonged breath in order to live another day. As you scream on the floor in pain, she eats the pruned remainder of what were once testes in one gulp, and may also swallow the scrotum as well depending on her taste.

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The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

Soft and cozy blend
Printed on-demand just for you
Drawstring hood
Front pouch pocket
Ribbed cuffs and waistband
Design on front, blank back
Every order personally reviewed
23
5
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0
0

Very expensive for just a word on a sweatshirt, but my son was thrilled with it.

Christen M.Jan 20
✓ Verified Purchase

I kinda liked it.

Lil M.Jan 3

Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.

Niwomugisha ChevonneDec 16

Quality This is the highest quality product

BundaiDec 4

Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10

OwenNov 30
Review by Ahmed E.

I LOVE THIS HOODIE!! It’s very comfortable, the writing seems like it’ll last for more than a few washes. Something to consider is embroidery! That’ll make your products stand out from just a regular hoodie with printings. Worth every dollar.

Ahmed E.Nov 16
✓ Verified Purchase

Mr Tulppo Is next This hoodie is my favorite article of clothing

SamNov 8

Would be South better to have the definition on it as well like we used to be able to customize tshirts, sweats or mugs especially at the higher prices…

Mitzi K.Nov 6
✓ Verified Purchase
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Size Guide

Measurements may vary by up to 2" (5 cm). Pro tip: Measure one of your hoodies at home and compare!

Hoodie measurements

A - Length

Measure from the top of the collar to the bottom hem

B - Width

Measure across the chest from side to side

C - Sleeve Length

Measure from center back collar, over shoulder, down to cuff

Size Chart

SizeLengthWidthSleeve
S27"20"33½"
M28"22"34½"
L29"24"35½"
XL30"26"36½"
2XL31"28"37½"
3XL32"30"38½"
SizeLengthWidthSleeve
S69 cm51 cm85 cm
M71 cm56 cm88 cm
L74 cm61 cm90 cm
XL76 cm66 cm93 cm
2XL79 cm71 cm95 cm
3XL81 cm76 cm98 cm

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