neymar

Look, I neymar, you neymar, he neymars, whenever we perform part or all of this theatrics: - diving or taking a dive (aka: an exaggerated fall after no contact with an opponent); - flopping into the ground; - collapsing onto the ground; - throwing ourselves to the ground; - giving an impromptu audition for a gunshot victim; - passing out randomly; - hitting the ground; - faking falls; - faking injuries; - faking being fouled; - embellishment (aka: exaggerating a fall after little contact with an opponent); - twisting and turning in pain on the ground; - howling in pain on the ground; - crumpling with a maudlin cry of agony, while clutching your shin and plaintively pleading for mercy; - screaming like a petulant child; - playing victim; - constantly protesting, to the ref, about/against every single thing that happens on the pitch; - acting like a drama king; - acting like a primadonna; - grassrolling; - flopping around like a dead fish on the floor; - going down elaborately; - a combination of roll + scream + modern dance interpretation of what it’s like to be crushed underneath the wheels of a bulldozer; - rolling around like we just jumped out of a speeding train. You can proudly state that you're neymaring at your best when you deploy your full repertoire of melodrama. (But don't worry, just one or two of these skills are still gonna make you hit the spot..)