Middle School

If you thought Hell was the place where you go to burn for eternity if you've been wicked in your life, think again. Unfortunately, it's on earth inside buildings located throughout this country and all the others across Earth. It's called: Middle School. This is a hellhole stage of your life, and if you are pressured, you will find this to be the harshest. All the social bullshit builds up throughout 2-3 years. 6 grade: Puberty. You're not a kid anymore. You can't watch Spongebob anymore without being laughed at. If you're in a public school, then you're gonna play a stupid game that goes by the name of "popularity contest!" In a prep school, you'll get the same, along with an additional piece of flaming shit: academic competition. It sucks because after the summer, you have not been warned and this comes to you as sudden as thunder- even more! The teachers have become worse (especially the gym teachers, which sucks because if you are in cycle classes, you'll get another one to face the bullcrap of... otherwise you're lucky if you get one of the awesome ones). Oh and by the way, more homework, less freedom. Have a nice year! 7 grade: Yeah, you've had a rough year. But that was just the beginning. You're in... the middle. It's all the same as last year, but it builds up faster than a spreading fire from September til June. Another thing catches the attention of your eye: the girls. CAUTION! As very fucking hot as they may seem, you gotta watch who you're dealing with. And remember, that as sad as some facts are to swallow, girls are surprisingly the worst part of middle school. Some are bitches. Some are nice and sweet. It also sucks shit when you see that they take likings to the bad guys! Those assholes who put others down to feel superior and better about themselves and act so bastardly to produce "good reputations" win the hearts of that hot babe with the nice rack. Do yourself a favor and, get to know them. Then you'll find out who you like. That's another thing btw, you start getting asked about who you like. You've probably gotten these questions last year, but there's more. Another warning is that your friends will start abandoning you for another bastardly attempt to become cool. What bites more is that they can be lifelong friends leaving you to rot in the dungeon. About the work, it's the same as sixth grade. 8 grade: The steamiest part of hell. A rapidly blasting weapon of agony that doesn't finish it's clip until late june. Everything you had in the past two years, plus more... What bright side you can look at is that it's the end, but it's a long journey till then. The pressure begins to focus on what you've always loved to hate: work. Because you're approaching high school, the teachers will begin to lecture you about how you have to pick up the pace and improve your grades because in 365 days from now, your grades will be written on stone for the colleges to see. "How wonderful!" you'll say. "I'm burning like a cat in heat and you have to scare me and make me even more afraid of life." Something happens. You get a Christmas present on the mail. It's tobacco, drugs, and alcohol. Your classmates will start doing them (another retarded attempt of them to be cool). If you've got friends and they start with these, you're not the luckiest individual in the world. If you've got a crush, that's a bad turn. All you can do is hope nothing bad happens to her. Here's the best part: Remember those assholes that used to put you down. Assholes usually turn to drugs, so you can look on the good side of expecting them to finally pay! If you do DAT (Drugs, Alcohol, Tobacco), this will come back to bite you in the ass crack. What a wild ride! End: When you finally get out of middle school on the last day of 8th grade, recite the lyrics to "The E.N.D." by The Pharcyde. They go "This ain't nothin' but the E.N.D. Follow me into the Sun and let your soul be free." And have an awesome summer. Brace yourself for high school. Be prepared. Anyway the teachers are right you have to pick up the pace in time for college selection. Good luck!