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Iraq War

- 9/11 occurs. United States in disarray- Americans: "This is so horrible, who could have done such a thing! Somebody figure out who did it!" Bush: "It was TERRORISTS!" Americans: -wiping manly tears from eyes- "...Terrorists?" Bush: "That's right! Terrorists! Al-Qaeda to be exact. They're in Afghanistan." Americans: "Well, what are we waiting for? Let's go get them!" Bush: "We won't fight terrorism in Afghanistan alone, we'll fight them all over the world!" Americans: "FUCK YEAR!" -Presidential ratings skyrocket- Bush & Cheney: -snicker- Fucking morons. Britain: "America, we'd love to company you in your crusade against terrorists in Afghanistan." Britians: "Well, all right, I suppose that sounds like a good idea. I do dislike terrorists." Bush & Cheney: -whispering to each other- "Now's our chance..." -approaches Britain with confidence- "So, Tony, in our crusade against terrorism, it's come to our attention that Iraq has weapons of mass destruction: AKA WMDs. Blair: "Really? What are your sources?" Cheney: "...Wikipedia." Blair: "Well, I suppose that makes sense." Bush: "So can we invade?" Blair: "Don't you think we should check it out first, you know, just to make sure?" Cheney: "But we KNOW they have WMDs, can't we just invade, pleeaaaaaseeee?" Blair: "That doesnt seem very logical to me." -Spock steps in- Spock: Not logical indeed. Cheney: "FINE. Send the UN in and see what we can find." -UN knocks on Iraq's door- "Hi! Hi! Hi!" Hussein: -just waking up, snorting- "Huh. Wha...? Who is it?" UN: "It's the United Nations. Mind if we poke around?" Hussein: "Go away." UN: "Pleeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaase?" Hussein: "No. Go away." -goes back to sleep- UN: "Fine, we'll just pester you until let us in." -knock knock knock- -Five hours later- Hussein: "FINE JESUS LOOK AROUND! FUCK!" -opens door- UN: -walks in- "Thanks! We'll just poke around for a while." Hussein: -snorts, rubs eyes- "Fine." -They do that- UN: "Well, it looks like we haven't found anything. Thanks for letting us in!" -walks out- Hussein: "Whatever." -shuts door- -UN returns to Bush, Cheney and Blair- UN: "Welp, we haven't found anything." Cheney: "What? FUCK!" Bush: "Well, this puts a damper on my day." Blair: "See? Told ya. We narrowly avoided disaster." -Bush and Cheney look at each other, they put on sunglasses and Cheney pulls out that memory eraser thing from "Men in Black" and flashes it into Tony Blair's eyes- Cheney: "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction." -Blair, hypnotized and repeating- Blair: "Iraq has weapons of mass destruction." Bush: "Al-Qaeda is operating in Iraq." Blair: "Al-Qaeda is operating in Iraq." Cheney: -takes off sunglasses- "Good, now tell everyone that you're helping us invade Iraq." Blair: "Mmkay." -walks off- Bush: -taking off sunglasses- "Sucker." Blair: -walks outside- "Hey ho, citizens of Britain. We're going to accompany America's quest to invade Iraq." Britians: -Dancing, drinking and singing all comes to an abrupt stop- "....Wha?" Blair: "Yep, we're invading Iraq. We're all having a meeting with a whole bunch of other countries." Britians: "But that doesn't make any sense!" Bush: -across the room, points at Iraq- "Iraq!" Hussein: -wakes up, one eyeball open, one half shut, snorts, yawns, looks around- "Huh?" Bush: "You!" Hussein: "Me?" Bush: "Yeah, you!" Hussein: -looks at watch- "What? I'm killing kids in a few hours, I need to have my beauty sleep." Cheney: "You got weapons of mass destruction!" Hussein: "What the fuck are you talking about?" Bush: "You're building nuclear bombs and stuff!" Hussein: "What? I don't know what you're talking about. Wait, didn't you send the UN here earlier to see if I was producing weapons of mass destruction earlier?" Blair: "What?" Bush: "Don't listen to him, Blair." Blair: "Okay." Cheney: "You have 48 hours to get out of Iraq with your sons 'n stuff or we're going to invade you." Hussein: "Fuck you! I'm staying here because I don't have shit!" Bush: "You're funeral." -Bush walks outside, addresses public- "Okay, America, we're invading Iraq, cause they have WMDs." Smart Americans: -dancing around and cheering, drinking and singing comes to an abrupt end- "...huh?" Dumb Americans: "FUCK YEAR!" Smart Americans: "But that doesn't make any sense!" Dumb Americans: "WE GONNA INVADE DEM IRAQ AND KILL DEM TERRORISTS FER ATTACKIN THE GREATEST NATION IN THE WORLD-- UH-MERR-I-KUHHHH!!!" Smart Americans: "Don't you people realize that these people aren't the target?" Dumb Americans: "DON'T YOU REALIZE THAT IF YOU'RE NOT WITH US YER AGAINST US WITH THE TERRORISTS? YER A DAMB COMMIE NAZI TERRORIST MUSLUM! YOU PROBABLY HELPED WITH 9/11!" Smart Americans: -facepalm- "Fuck." -48 hours pass, the Death Star flies over Baghdad and zaps the living fuck out of everything- Bush: "AHHAAHHHH, MOTHERFUCKERS! I'LL SHOW MY DADDY THAT I HAVE A BIGGER PENIS THAN HIM!" -Iraqi citizens run around screaming- Hussein: "OHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCKOHFUCK" -hides in hole- Bush: "Nah-ah-ah! No you don't!" -pulls Hussein out of hole- -United States soldiers run around screaming war cries and blasting the shit out of everything. After a few moments, they all stop and look around at each other cluelessly.- Soldiers: "Hey, wait. Where are the WMDs?" Smart Americans & Britains: "YOU FUCKING RETARDS!" Bush: -looks around innocently- "Well, uh...." -puts giant sign up "Mission Accomplished"- "Mission Accomplished, guys!" Dumb Americans: "FUCK YEAR!" The Rest of the World: "We hate Americans now. They're stupid as hell." Dumb Americans: "Yeh? WELL, FUCK YOU, DAMN TERRORISTS. WE'RE NOT CALLING FRENCH FRIES FRENCH FRIES ANYMORE OUT OF SPITE. WE'RE CALLING THEM FREEDOM FRIES." Smart Americans and Britains: "So, where are our WMDs, Bush and Cheney?" Bush: -shrugs- "I dunno. I'm pretty sure they had them." Smart Americans and Britains: "Didn't you send the UN in to check?" Blair: "You guys actually did send the UN in to check?" Cheney: "Shut the fuck up, Blair." Bush: "Well, we eliminated the world of a major threat. Aren't you asses happy? P.S. We're gonna have to have our troops sit around in Iraq for a few years while we rebuild it's government and install a democracy." United States Soldiers: "Wait? What?" Britain Soldiers: "What the fuck!" Bush: -nervous laughter- "Yep! Well, uh... I'm off now. -runs away to white house and locks himself in his room- US and British Soldiers: "FUCKING GOD DAMN IT!" Taliban in Afghanistan: "Wheee! Iraq is left without a government! Perfect opportunity to install our operations there too!" -does that- US and British Soldiers: "What? Why couldn't we have just stayed in Afghanistan!" The World: "America the Retarded." Stupid Americans: "FUCK YEAR! FIGHTIN' TERRORISTS! Boy, it's getting kinda chilly here. Hey, look! Rain! Ah, how peaceful the rain is. Boy, its getting really windy too. Hey, wait a minuet! HOLY SHIT!" Hurricane Katrina: "OH HEY NEW ORLEANS WHAT'S GOING ON?" -destroys New Orleans- New Orleans: "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!" All of America: -knocks on Bush's door- "Hey, Mr. President, New Orleans needs help." -Bush is playing D&D with Cheney- "Yeah, give me a second. I need to save Dick from this troll." All of America: "People are dying!" Bush: "Just give me like.. five minutes okay." US and British Soldiers in Iraq: "This sucks." Hussein: -In a noose, about to be hanged- "You're all retarded." -gets hung- -Presidential rating drop to an all-time low- The World: "America still sucks. There's no hope for that country now." -A mysterious figure steps in- Obama: "Somebody call me?"

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The Urban Dictionary Hoodie

Soft and cozy blend
Printed on-demand just for you
Drawstring hood
Front pouch pocket
Ribbed cuffs and waistband
Design on front, blank back
Every order personally reviewed
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Nice It's pretty good to describe my mood around my parents!! Love this! Make more!

Lol Sep 14

why I can't believe that I found it. A diamond in the dust. a needle in the haystack. A Chankla hoodie. no seriously I just bought a hoodie that only said Chankla. Best purchase btw

Why May 21

Pretty good It isn’t very hot and sweaty but other than that it is pretty good

Gillian Apr 23

Better then Gucci and LV I bought 3 of these and omg I’m done it’s literally the best hoodie I have ever worn.Its so good that I think the hoodie give me powers like Shaggy.I hope this becomes better than any other brand that’s how good it is.

Harold Mar 5

Excellent It's the best only that accessibility to my home town Kampala Uganda seems to be honestly had.I just wish.I would get also things like Mugs,T shirts ,Personelised pens.Different colours.

Niwomugisha Chevonne Dec 16

Quality This is the highest quality product

Bundai Dec 4

Just amazing I started browsing on the urban dictionary for the best most exquisite word I could find. And lo and behold I found this! This word, or words fit so perfectly on the sweatshirt it to like it was made to be. The comfy and soft material truly hugs your body and makes you not want to get up Or do anything. 10/10

Owen Nov 30

Mr Tulppo Is next This hoodie is my favorite article of clothing

Sam Nov 8

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Size Chart

Size Length Width Sleeve
S27"20"33½"
M28"22"34½"
L29"24"35½"
XL30"26"36½"
2XL31"28"37½"
3XL32"30"38½"
Size Length Width Sleeve
S69 cm51 cm85 cm
M71 cm56 cm88 cm
L74 cm61 cm90 cm
XL76 cm66 cm93 cm
2XL79 cm71 cm95 cm
3XL81 cm76 cm98 cm

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