Hipster Hoodie

Hipster: (up-to-date summer 2009) Used to be a pure American phenomenon but is now quickly spreading through the monster that is corporate advertising. Hipsters are people who THINKS they are the counter culture, usually in the 20s sometimes into their late 30s. Usually have poor speech abilities and are easy to intimidate. They are not the counter culture/ revolution because they are just as consumerist as ever, the only thing that makes them unique is that they are self loathing in true nature. Their clothing consists of bright mismatched colors and or ironic t-shirts and almost always tight jeans and fresh kicks. Sometimes they can be spotted walking around with factory made silkscreen frames around art schools. Glasses is not a requirement by if they wear a pair is always going to be a pair of dark framed plastic designer glasses. Hair is not as strict as well now that more people are negatively judging hipsters, many hide their true hipster by mixing it up. Iconic "bangs" are now disappearing as most hipsters don't want to be judged as a stupid fuck at first glance. Hipsters always own a facebook page and have tons of pictures of themselves on their profile, shot/photoshop with artsy yet cheesy mentality in order to be ironic yet gain attention. In short, they are mostly lonely but don't have the balls to fight it. Hipsters can be found congregating at freebie events, especially art openings and so-called indie concerts because they simply are too lazy to work/ get their hands dirty (except when they build up musk for the hipster look/scent) to get money to pay for anything. They are required to own/ride a "fixed gear bicycle" and those who are not up-to-style or are not knowledgeable are likely to be identified quickly and disregarded by the greater hipster community. But this will only make that person even more of a hipster wannabe. High-end hipsters uses their parent's or hard earn intern dollars on Fuji bikes(~$700) or Chrome gear (~100+) while low end hipsters buy SE Drafts (~$300) and bullshit messenger bags(~$20-). They almost ride entirely with no brakes, this is not to be confused with someone trying to be a clown in the circus; they simply wanted the bike to be light and have nothing that can be stolen; which often lead to crashes and permanently damaged knees. Those who are weasels ride "freewheel" and with often front brakes, those are the most self-loathing hipsters that doesn't go all the way but still want to be a hipster. Also, most chop their handlebars so short so they can squeeze through two busses that they can barley control it anywhere even if its a wide open lane. While they are self-described free-thinking intellectuals these hipsters are often off-the-rack as can be, some even dare to buy designer "thrift-store-look" clothing and gears with more often their parent's money than their own. Their musical taste is only there to prove their love for a time that is not their own; 80s music for example. Hipsters are so lost they don't really believe in much of anything or know what to do with their lives so they hope to attach themselves to something that was once "great", usually something weird and alienating but easy enough so they don't have to try too hard to copy (such as Punk). Hipsters are always an art major/drop out at some point and mostly had been an intern at a major city like NYC for some crook commercial "artist". They hang in packs because of their low self esteem and often smoke/drink a certain brand of cigarettes and alcohol but because of recent global scrutiny some are cracking under pressure and begin doubting their own culture, their embarrassment or defiance can be felt through their speech and look; they either go all out on their look and pompous speech or they easily crack under even the slightest visual scrutiny by a passer-by. to be continually updated until hipsterdom is history...