feminist Hoodie

–noun 1. the doctrine advocating social, political, and all other rights of women equal to those of men. 2. (sometimes initial capital letter) an organized movement for the attainment of such rights for women. Feminists will not mind when you do not wish to open doors and pay the check WHEN: They are no longer paid 75 cents for every dollar a man makes even when they have the same education level, experience, and work just as hard. Cleaning products are no longer marketed to women on TV. Men start worrying about trying to "balance raising children and a career." Viagra is no longer covered on insurance, and birth control is. We don't constantly see ugly fat men paired with attractive thin women in sitcoms (Drew Carey Show, Family Guy, Simpsons, ect ect.) Women are EITHER expected to be less attractive and spend less time trying to be beautiful OR men are expected to be more attractive and spend more time trying to be beautiful. Women are no longer called bitches when they sound too intelligent or when they refuse to put out. When women are no longer called sluts when they do put out, OR men are ALSO called sluts when they put out. Young boys are given baby dolls and pretend ovens along with their GI Joes and toy guns. Young girls are given lego sets and science kits along with their barbies. Women who want to go to the front lines of battle are allowed to go instead of being mollycoddled at the back. Men stop calling weak individuals "pussies" (a female sex organ smaller than a lemon but which can withstand having a watermelon-sized baby shoved through it, and which is extraordinarily strong and resilient) and stop saying that brave, strong people "have balls" (a male sex organ which is extraordinarily weak when even lightly tapped.) EITHER men don't grimace and scream and gag when a tampon is mentioned in their presence, OR men stop talking about taking a shit, farting, dick cheese, and jacking off in the presence of women. One man comparing another man to a woman is not a grave insult. Men stop complaining about so-called "reverse sexism" when what's really beginning to happen is equality. When we see as many naked men used to sell things as we do naked women. Male comedians stop doing the tired "women are complicated" "women get upset for no reason" "women remember everything" bit. There are as many women CEOs and top political figures as there are male ones. The *number one* cause of death among pregnant women is not the father of her child beating her. When it's no longer legal to create or sell pornography showing a woman being violently raped. Women are not called dykes, butch, man-haters, or femi-nazis for having the gall to have a problem with all this. So basically, when hell freezes over, you can stop opening the doors for us. Until then, you can stand to do that simple little nicety. It makes our lives ever-so-slightly more bearable, and it's the least you owe us. We'll take the responsibilities when you give us the rights.