America's History

A sexual act that requires great finesse and patriotism. It is between a man and a woman, starting with foreplay, representing the founding of Jamestown. This will lead to the arrival of Pilgrims who celebrate the first Thanksgiving, symbolized through the man feasting on the woman's vagina. The man will then "cross the Delaware" by switching from her vagina to her anus, representing the War for Independence. Next is the signing of the Declaration of Independence, signed by John Handcock and fifty-five others. The woman will give the man a hand job, or a blowjob depending on preference. Next the settlement of the West, bringing cowboys and gold mining to America. This is symbolized through the cowgirl/reverse cowgirl position. After this would be the Civil War, in which the couple will engage in doggy style, vaginal for the North and anal for the South. Next is the the Prohibition Act, which is represented by the couple drinking a variety of alcohol, potentially from the oral, naval, or anal cavities. Following would be the baby boom, post-WWII, represented by the most popular sex position, missionary. This leads to America putting the first man on the moon in 1969, which will require the couple to engage in the sixty-nine position. This will end with the fall of the Soviet Union in 1991, leaving America as the only superpower in the world, symbolized by the man ejaculating onto the woman's face - a sign of dominance.