Yassification Ceremony

A Yassification Ceremony is a common ritual amongst the younger generations of this century. Participants choose one lucky person to partake in the ceremony, and together, they complete the steps to properly Yassify the participant. Step 1: the group must gather in a circle around the chosen one. They all strip the participant of their clothing, and douse them in a flammable oil. Step 2: a candy cane is handed to the participant who is now naked and covered in oil, and the participant must whittle it down to a sharp point using their mouth. Step 3: the candy cane will then be used to carve an X into the participants torso; starting from the rib cage down to the hip bones. (If the candy cane breaks during this process, another may be supplied, but step 2 must be repeated. If the second one breaks, the ceremony will cease, and the chosen one will be cast out, never to achieve Yassification.) Step 4: Using the blood from the X carved into their stomach, the participant will rise, and drip the blood oil mixture into a fire pit. Step 5: the fire will be lit, and all will rejoice. After the ceremony is over, participants usually celebrate by dancing around the fire, and eating lots of candy canes. The successful participant in the ceremony is blessed with the gift of Yass, and is guaranteed to become Yassified in the following years.